Help needed

[HS89]

My relationship has not been the best for over a year. My partner is very verbally and emotionally abusive. Last year and also very recent I have been in contact with someone else via txt message only to seek comfort. My partner had found these messages and is of course very upset. He still wants to be with me but I am so unsure due to how bad he makes me feel. We have a 1 year old daughter and I am really struggling with what to do. We have a house together, he earns decent money and I work part time.

Does he think he is verbally and emotionally abusive to you too?

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?. You've put yourself in harm's way by seeking comfort elsewhere and your abuser finding out. Of course he wants to be with you; he has sex and you cooking and cleaning for him as well as childcare (I daresay this child also has his surname rather than your own). Apart from that he likes having you around in order to abuse you.

The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none and that is a relationship lesson your daughter will need to learn. Would you want her to be in a relationship like yours; no you would not and you would want better for her.

Your relationship with him is over anyway because of his verbal and emotional abuse. Do reach out to Womens Aid here and they can help you plan a safe exit from him if this is what you want to do.

If your partner is abusive then you need to take steps to leave. Get advice from Women's Aid. Whether he wants to be with you is irrelevant, and you feeling 'unsure' is a sign that your boundaries are not healthy.

Leave, and then, when things have settled, look at why your boundaries are where they are.