Low contact/ not talking to a family member at a family gathering.

[malificent7]

I have decided to go very low contact with my dad and in fact am not talking to him at all untill I have calmed down. I am due to go to a family birthday party at the end of May. I think he will be there. How can I keep my distance without creating an atmosphere?

I do want to go to this gathering as I like most people there and family friends are there too.

Don't inflict your issues in the party holder. Either don't go OR be polite to your dad whilst there.

How big is the gathering? If there will be a lot of people there that you wouldn’t necessarily be expected to spend a lot of time with everyone then make the effort to hang out with cousins or whoever. But I’d urge you to at least be polite and don’t make it glaringly obvious that you’re blanking him because that would create atmosphere and inflict your issues on everyone including the person who the party is for and that is unfair. If you can’t do that, I’d suggest giving it a miss.

I practice prevent rather then avoid. You know your Dad so try to be where he won’t go in some way. At the family gathering my Dad would be somewhere near TV, sitting in a big armchair and wouldn’t help at the kitchen. So to avoid him naturally I would just fo the opposite.
You might need to mention some of your relatives beforehand that your relationship is a bit strained at then moment.
How big is the gathering? How structured? Are you going with kids? If yes, will your Dad want to interact with them ?
Basically it’s down to careful planning.

I have told the party holders that I'm not talking to him atm and they understand why i'm hurt. There will be loads of friends there. I might just do the grey rock technique.

My dd loves my dad and I'm not getting in the way of their relationship.