Any OLD sites where I don't need to put photo on? Happy to send privately. Please read and advise

[samia1982]

Ok, so my best friend has persuaded me to give OLD a try. Never tried it before and I have a few concerns around it.
Firstly, I'm from a community and religion where the whole concept of 'dating' isn't really a 'thing', so I'm just finding my feet a couple of years after leaving an abusive and toxic marriage. It was an arranged marriage and it caused a lot of trouble for my family and community when I left it.
I ended up having to move away with my DC (now aged 6).
I'm keen to find happiness and would like to get back out there, I feel I have a lot of offer in a happy, healthy relationship.
I'm just wondering whethere there are any OLD sites where you don't have to post your pics on display straight away... Of course it goes without saying that I'd happily share them on a private message with anybody I feel a connection with and would like to meet... Just don't want to make myself too "out there" and "visible" if that makes sense? I've nothing to hide and I'm fairly attractive (so I'm told), but being from a background where dating (much less OLD) isn't the done thing, it all feels a bit nerve-wracking to me.

Hi OP
It's sounds like we're from similar backgrounds, south Asian?

I can totally relate in terms of not wanting your picture out there, does it come from maybe someone recognising you? And 'what will people say'? I feel like that engrained in us quite a bit.
I just think it would be hard for people to connect with you and vice versa if there's no picture?
I've not been on dating sites so not sure but plenty do, including south Asians, and your on their for a legitimate reason, so even if someone does recognise you, so what!

Hope it works out.

Hi, thanks for replying.
Yeah, South Asian background.
Not even sure why I'm so bothered what people might thing, I guess it's just the potential hassle it could cause if anyone from my community spots me. Could just do without the drama tbh. I'm also trying to avoid meeting someone from the same community, I just want to make a fresh start.

Yes, good for you! Maybe try it out without a picture for now and see how you get on.

My cousin has just met a girl from OLD and is soon to be married.
It definitely works.

I'm Pakistani and my husband is Bangladeshi, you can imagine the trouble that caused in our communities but here we are 13 years later.

On bumble you can go incognito, you pay for that service but I think it's the only way without everyone seeing you, tbh you will need a photo still but only the men you've swiped on can see you.

I don't think you'd have much good choice without a photo.

On Plenty of Fish you have to put up one photo but you can hide it straightaway if you know what you’re doing. Can you practice with someone else’s photo? And do it when traffic is low eg 6am or something, there’s a few seconds between putting it up and hiding it. But some men will have their settings to not accept messages from people with no photo so you limit it slightly.

It may have changed but Eharmony used to allow no photo, I'm now married to the man I met on there and we initially started chatting before I added a photo. I only added one as I wanted him to know who he was looking for on our first date but I didnt want to message him outside of the OLD platform until I knew the first date went well. You get a lot more interest the minute you add a photo but it worked out fine for me without.

You can join Plenty of Fish without a photo. I have an account and no photo, I’ve met a couple of people on there. I’m just shy and don’t want people to know that I’m OLD but a lot of people will assume that there is a more sinister reason for no photo. I’ve had a few messages that start ‘no photo, you married then?’ etc. Be warned that it’s not the nicest vibe, hope you have more luck than me!

As with the poster above I'd agree that men will assume you are married, that's why most people don't have a pic.