Hi,
I can't explain it well but I always feel I am on the outside of a circle of friendship/ family etc. I never feel I am valued enough to be let in..its kinda mixed in with not feeling enough of a priority in someone life. Maybe some areas are influencing how I feel about others.
Examples include
For example one of my parents are really quite poorly. Juggling that with working FT and kids it's been quite a pressure..hubby asked his parents if they could help us at this time and my MIL response was "They need to check with BIL as he may need them" (he is fine just useless at sorting his own childcare) . MIL is complaining today we haven't kept them up to date with my parent condition. It's my parent. It's me going through this. But doesn't check in. She makes it about her.
Our kids are neuro diverse. So is hubby it turns out. Hubby is great with them as he gets it. I don't always and I learn as I go. I am grateful for that but sometimes I wish I could be included / understand and I also wish I could have some of the attention they get. My emotional needs are way way down the list.
We went to a wedding recently. Quite a few of us were going. Turns out some of our friends had organised hotels so they could travel and stay together. No one had mentioned it in advance and it felt like being outside of a inner circle.
A colleague at work had a party. Invited lots of people from work but I didn't get invited. That's fine but again just made me feel on the outside of social group.
I sit here after another weekend feeling quite drained about meeting everyone else needs but don't feel like mine are met.