Ghosted just before second date

[TheSamantha]

I met a guy last Sunday. We had the most fantastic date. Lots of laughs and eye contact. We had a fab time. No pressure, both on the same page about things.

when I got home he’d already text me to say he’d love to see me again. So we booked dinner, talked all week and then suddenly he disappears at 7pm on Friday - 24 hours before the date. No replies, nothing.

This morning I can see I’ve been blocked.

why are people so evil? I was genuinely worried and thought something horrible had happened.

they don’t care that they have affected another human being in such a horrible way.

player, sorry

Sounds like a lucky escape 💐

That’s awful OP, people are cowards and have no regards for other peoples feelings. I’d say it’s a lucky escape, this happened to me after a 4th date and I already had some feelings for him. Better now than a few weeks/months down the line

Sounds like his gf saw the texts/got suspicious and he had to block asap.

Don't be surprised if he pops up again with some ridiculous excuse in a few weeks. Don't buy it.

I thought this too either that or the wife.

the annoying part is that I’d stood down one guy as I didn’t think it was fair to be going on a second date with someone and then having a first date with another.

Maybe you could message him and say that you are available again?

Tbh I'd always go on a good few dates with them before deciding to stop dating anyone else. That is, at least if you're already talking to someone else. Usually you'll have a better idea about 4 or 5 dates in if it's going to continue (or, if they're sane...and not a dickhead).

Unlikely both would make it past the first month so best not to bin either off until then.

Watch out for people that want to be in constant contact too. Often that's all about feeding their ego rather than anything real.

If someone wanted to text me all week after just one date, I'd feel smothered.

What an absolute arsehole.

I suspect someone he is already with/was with, came back.

It would be so much nicer if he was honest, even something like 'I had a great time, you're absolutely lovely, but I'm afraid something has come up and I will be unable to see you tomorrow. Take care. '

I just don’t get the ghosting. Just say you’re not interested. Job done.

it shows a real lack of common decency to just leave someone hanging.

Indeed. It's purely for selfish reasons that they ghost. If they don't ghost, they have to admit the reason they're cancelling. If they ghost, you never know, and it leaves them open to say in 2 months time 'I'm so sorry about last time, my Nan died suddenly, can we go out again?'
So, block back, or just ignore when they come back (and my experience is there's a good chance they will).

I do sympathise. But also if you're going to do the apps you need to retain detachment, keep your options open and wait several, several weeks and dates before you allow yourself to see it as anymore than entertainment.

You are going yo get a lot of this sort if behaviour on the apps and you can't prevent that. You can't predict who will do it...it's become the normal.

So either maybe apps aren't for you (they're certainly not for me) or you need a bit of a strategy to see and speak to several people, retain some distance and look at the first 3 or 4 dates as short, casual and introductory.

Evil? I really think people take "ghosting" to heart too much its hardly "evil" out of order yeah, evil? No

It does display a lack of decency, but it's not 'evil'. You said there was no pressure, so why is this bothering you?

When I was new to OLD some bloke ghosted me the day before a date, turns out he did the same to my friend 😂 apparently got a sick kick out of it ! You had a lucky escape !

It's not evil OP, it's shit behaviour, but not evil. I'm sorry this happened to you - with online dating now it's always best not to become too attached until you've been in contact for a while and had a few dates. Message the other man you were talking to and ask if he's free this week!