Partner not sharing housework - twins on the way

[Th10]

I have been with my for the past year (on/off couple years prior). I’m currently pregnant with twins and not happy with the sharing of chores & never gets resolved. For context:

both work FT, I work 8am-4/5pm +2hr drive each way, desk job. Partner works 8-3/4pm + on call overnight once a week, busy job.
we live with his parents and I do not pay rent but set aside my savings towards our house deposit - aim to move out next year.

issue:
in the past year he’s cooked less than 5 times, Initially I cooked 2-3 times a week and his parents the rest of the time (I have cut down to 1 or 2 as fed up).
he never washes up, after we’ve eaten he will let the plates sit there until I’m fed up and take them (it’s only 2 plates, I clean the kitchen after I’ve cooked)
If I, or his parent make a big meal and eat together at the table, he’s the only one who doesn’t take the plates to the kitchen or wash up.

he says women are ‘naturally better at admin’ as it’s something men are just not good at. This sounds minor but it really irritates me as I don’t want to take on all the mental load and admin when the children come along or when we go to get a mortgage (I feel like he’s priming me for that by acting incompetent). I’ve told him I work with many people who try this ‘play dumb’ trick on me and see it from a mile off.

I’ve told him so many times I am not a maid and don’t want to set the example of that mum does majority of the housework to my kids when we both work the same amount. I’ve had this conversation at least once a month and no change.
what do I do? I feel like I’m being a pushover and I know that things are going to get harder with twins. I also feel guilt because I don’t directly pay him for staying here, although I save towards deposit I feel like a freeloader and compensate by doing chores but I do need to get out of that mindset. How would you approach a situation that isn’t changing? The last straw was two days ago when he was getting ready for work and asked me to put some underwear in the washing for him as he didn’t have time to do it in the week. (He did, but couldn’t be bothered). I said he was taking the Piss as he was still in the house so why didn’t he do it himself? We haven’t spoken for two days since I brought up these issues again.

thank you

I would recommend you get your own kitchen and cook there, like most people do.

You’re not living an independent life- you have fewer entitlements than a lodger, and you’re going to be housing you and your two children on the goodwill of his parents. You’ve chosen to put yourself into a ridiculous situation. And for what? A relationship that sounds pretty subpar.

To top it off, I’m guessing he’s one of these “marriage is just a piece of paper” guys?

Thank you for your honesty. And you guessed correct. It’s a wake up call albeit a late one but thanks

I echo pp @Th10

This has disaster written all over it. He is entitled, lazy, selfish, mysognestic. He doesn't respect you enough to want to share the load with you. In fact he thinks it's your job to serve him. These traits are more likely to get worse than better. If you leave now you can set up your life in preparation for your babies arriving. You will be doing yourself a HUGE favour.

If you stay with him, you will end up being the house servant, with no respect or thanks, because he thinks that's your place in life. You will end up downtrodden and resentful and one day will think 'why on earth didn't I leave when I first saw the signs?'

Your life will be easier without him in it. And happier. It's good that you have supportive family. Use them.

It would be better if you are not married so you don't have to share half the house with him if you split, I've read about ringfencing what you pay for the house, can you do that.