Name changed for this one, but would appreciate any advice or guidance please.
Late 40s, own family two DC and DH. Recently I’ve been to a therapist for some support with anger and frustration. Ended up on HRT, so feel calmer. However the therapist really opened my eyes about my parent. This parent was alcoholic, and left the family home when I was 5, resulting in a very chaotic, unsettled and well as impoverished childhood. Did not offer fifnancila support. Parent did not maintain contact for 5 years following this, but sporadically throughout my teenage years and as a young adult (perhaps 2-3 times a year on average).
Parent continues to be extremely self centred and has few relationships of any kind. All 4 siblings/step siblings have LC. Up to last year I was actively pursuing a parent-child relationship (very much a people pleaser). But being a parent myself has made me question my childhood and how parent could have behaved the way they did. They also add little to my life now and are not grandparent material, showing little to no interest in anything other than themselves.
As a result of all of the above I decided recently to also go LC, down from regular monthly phone calls and arranging to see them to just the odd birthday card / text. I did not think it was helpful
to explain why (parent now in mid 70s) as too
much time has passed and nothing is likely to change. Parent is now on a campaign of “why me” “why the animosity” and has now blocked me on social media but is trying to contact me via sibling. I just want to protect by own kids from this behaviour, and be at peace.
Thank you do reading, and please if
you have got to the end of this, tell me what you think and if I need to tell the parent why Inhave chosen to go LC?