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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I didn't mean to take it out on mr sheen

2 replies

Chocolatehun · 22/04/2023 13:45

There might be a lot to unpick here but as I am now breathing deeply on my bed having just shouted at DP and DS and thrown spray and a j cloth on the floor, I'm struggling to pinpoint my exact issue.

I work full time though usually one of my working days is a Saturday/Sunday. DP is mon-fri. We have a 2 year old. I feel a lot of pressure making that one day as nice as possible whereas DP is too exhausted by Friday to make plans.

I was asked to go for coffee with my friend this morning which I asked DP about first as he will have DS on his own all day tomorrow. He said ok. I was gone an hour and when I arrived home, the house was a complete tip and DP and DS were playing in the garden. DS told me to go away. I decided to get going with some cleaning. As I was cleaning the bathroom, I felt guilty for being upset that i am always being lumbered with these chores. And I had the luxury of an hour to myself with a friend but I still felt bad all throughout leaving DP and DS on our day together (even though nothing was planned).

As I was cleaning, they came in and DP asked what I was doing. I said I'm halfway through some cleaning. He asked what we were doing about DS's nap time (hoping I'd take him up, I think now retrospectively) and I said I wasn't sure. He sighed and told me 'oh do what you want.' I really lost it at that point. I shouted 'Oh lucky me! I don't want to clean but somebody has to!' throwing everything on the floor and storming out.

I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I get DS up for nursery and walk him there every day before the 40 minute walk to work, clean, meal plan, cook, organise finances, organise our free time and I'm made to feel like I'm not doing enough.

Is this resentment just part of the deal?

OP posts:
Plantymcplantface · 23/04/2023 16:27

I understand how you feel, days do seem relentless and tough sometimes. I read somewhere that is commonly triggered by: Relationships with people who insist on being right all the time. Or Being taken advantage of by another. Or Feeling put down. Perhaps some of these apply to you, and I think sitting down to discuss this with your OH if you can would be useful x

Shoxfordian · 23/04/2023 16:31

Yeah it’s part of the deal if you have a useless partner

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