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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wondering if I am overreacting

2 replies

joysexreno · 22/04/2023 11:43

It's very difficult to go into detail about this, but my partner pushed something a bit further sexually than we had agreed. (No, not anal). I asked what he was doing and he immediately stopped and apologised. This is a thing that we have done many times before and I only don't want to do it because of a specific (but possibly remote) medical risk.

This morning, he apologised as soon as he woke up. I challenged him on it (along the lines of 'this isn't what we agreed, why did you do that?') He kept repeating a reason that honestly doesn't make sense (basically he thought that it would be ok because it was adjacent to what was agreed and he thought that the medical risk was low). I eventually told him that his actions were scary and disappointing.

He has been a perfect boyfriend over the past year+ and is normally extremely respectful of my boundaries. Based on what he has said in the past, I have pretty firmly believed that he has a strong aversion to any sexual activity that isn't fully consensual.

I feel very upset about this and I am questioning everything I thought that I knew. He's currently very quiet and regretful seeming.

OP posts:
MindBoggles69 · 22/04/2023 12:01

Christ what on earth is this thing

You both need to acknowledge that it was beyond the boundaries of mutal consent and will now happen. Then you have to move on.
I bet he's feeling embarrassed and remorseful.
Move on.
mid you can't then leave the relationship

joysexreno · 22/04/2023 12:05

@MindBoggles69 i don't understand your last sentence.

OP posts:
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