Trying to cut parents off am I doing the right thing

[Mykidsaremyworld09]

Hi long one so apoligies
I’ve cut contact with my parents right down and thinking of going zero contact completely a few points are
They got a dangerous dog refuse to train it and it’s bitten two strangers so I won’t let it near my children , they don’t understand this and think I’m over reacting.

my mum would ring me up and moan about my sister in law how she looks after my niece and nephew ( perfectly fine btw ) moaning the kids wasn’t dressed etc I told her if she has problem to talk to her not moan at me all the time , saying If kids play up whack them one etc .

Their old dog bit my dd face 12 years ago and my mum wouldn’t get rid of the dog because he was elderly said he was going funny in the head and refused to get rid.

My mum makes me sign little bits of paper as receipts when she has paid me eg they were looking after a designer bag for me they misplaced it when I needed it to sell , so after 2 months of arguing she eventually paid up but made me sign paper then said if they ever find the bag would I sell it for them no , the bag is now there’s not mine . They have gave one of my brother hand outs all the time £10 £20 over the years no bit of paper for him to sign and never paid back . I’ve never asked my parents to lend me money .

Childhood wasn’t great my dad used to beat my other older brother up all the time mum let it happen and no dv towards her ,
my older brother has problems and he still lives with them in his 40s , this all happened when I was 10-16 so sometimes my older brother sat on floor mouthing off my dad tell him to shut up he didn’t do got a kick in the back , I was sat next to my dad on sofa. Also used to chase him upstairs to hit him and I remember hiding in my room as a teen hearing him say if he had to come out of work he would be dead meat etc

This is going backwards in order , so even after the first dog bite we still had a relationship but then myself my partner and our children decided to move away and we love it and are happy , they got the new dog during lockdown and has not been trained so is a nasty chihuahua, we tried to give alternative saying when you visit dog go in the garden etc crate but she refuses saying no forget it then and that was in oct , a little contact on phone at Xmas that’s about it . ( she rang pretending things were ok and normal )

however they have a holiday home where we live and recently text saying there in the area , we didn’t reply as it didn’t need a reply just saying we are in the area for a few weeks, then a few days later I get a text asking if I got that text , so I replied yes and nothing since .

I have spent time thinking myself and my family are happier since having little contact and just think it’s better to end the relationship not sure what I’m asking on here as now mid 30s can’t believe it’s taken this long to see how messed up my family are .

Oh god of course end the relationship. Your parents sound awful and abusive and I can’t imagine what value seeing them when they visit their holiday home wouod bring you or your family.

I feel for your older brother, still living with them when they were so abusive to him.

So they're happy to put their dog above your dc's safety, even knowing the dog bites.
Your dad has a history of violence to your sibling.
Your mum talks about whacking your niece and nephew.
You know family are happier without them.
Sounds pretty clear that going nc or at least staying low contact is the right thing.
Does your brother and sil know your mum talks about whacking their kids? It sounds as if your nice and nephew should be kept from your parents as well. Would you be able to talk to them about it? I would hate to think these children are suffering at the hands of your parents.

Yes unfortunately they have put the dog before any of us.
my other brother and sister in law don’t know she used to call me moaning about there parenting. Also the whacking comment was about kids playing up in general, not about my niece and nephew sorry should have stated , it’s still an awful comment I do not agree with .

yes unfortunately my older brother in his 40s seem to have forgiven them and lives with them however he has problems etc so I don’t think he could live on his own and be independent etc . He also sided with them when we fell out the first time when the old dog bit my daughter and I wanted the dog put down so probably abit brainwashed.

btw my parents have a hoarded house I won’t be dealing with when they pass so unsure what’ll happen there .

My parents have a hoarder house too and I’ve determined not to deal with it. No idea what happens presumably it will be cleared and expenses

Taken from the estate (if there is any)

Not any estate the house is housing association and they don’t have much money

Update - They clearly do not respect our rules regarding the dog , they are in the area in there holiday home we bumped into them out so spoke for 5 mins my mother didn’t talk to me but told my dd she will come round one day after sch as she had a Xmas present from someone , and to give my ds bday money they could of put in his card back in March . They didn’t ask me etc .
That was on the Saturday, no contact all week no text etc then Friday around lunch time I get a text saying I’ll be round later after school - well no you won’t be
I replied saying no we can meet you out on such and such day because no notice and I’m not upsetting my ds after sch routine without giving him notice , he likes routine and gets anxiety etc if stuff changes so have to give him notice we if we are going out one day .
so I said no because they have homework, don’t want to change ds routine and also the dog isn’t allowed.

They are so rude just telling me they’re coming round without asking am I correct ?

anyway they then replied saying fine they’ll bring stuff next time they come as there’s going back to where they live Sunday .

I didn’t reply , but fine by me as they seem not to take any of our rules etc seriously

Well done for holding your ground op!! So rude of them to think they can tell you when they are coming to your home, even though they ignored you when you saw them and you had told them no to the dog.

Re the house- I’m assuming the local authority will have to clear that. My parents are also LA and I’m not planning on clearing their home. I’m guessing LAs just have to clear houses themselves if the tenant passes with no one to clear their things out.