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Original poster

Why is he playing games

15 replies

Gmee · 21/04/2023 20:02

I have an ex who i have a child with. We have split up but gotten closer then not closer etc. we are split due to his lack of real commitment.

However he expressed that while we were close he would like to know if i start seeing anyone. I recently told him i was now going on a date. Despite us getting closer he never tried to approach me in regards to our relationship and getting back together. I took this as a sign to move on.

Now he is upset i’m going on a date which I suspect is about control. He said he is upset I decided to move on without us having a conversation about how we could make it work.

I left it for a few days and asked him if he would like to talk then, he said about what because he would not like to go around in circles and do i have anything to say.

To me this feels like gameplaying and i feel like he’s treating me like i’m stupid

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 21/04/2023 20:05

OP, if you've split up, he has no right to know when you're going on a date. You're right; this is about control.

Landndialamrhf · 21/04/2023 20:09

He decided not to commit. That was his decision it sounds like.
he doesn’t get to now control you from a distance.
how close is close - stop sleeping with him if you are.
he can’t just not commit to you but get to play happy families when it suits him and stop you moving on to someone that will appreciate you. That’s very selfish.

Original poster
Gmee · 21/04/2023 20:10

To be honest we slept together a few times then stopped but still were close and lingering feelings. However nothing happened or moved forward…

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 21/04/2023 20:11

He actually sounds like the sort of man who could be very dangerous to you.
Has he ever been violent to you?

Original poster
Gmee · 21/04/2023 20:16

No nothing like that!

OP posts:
ValerieDoonican · 21/04/2023 20:25

He wants to have his cake and eat it. It doesn't sound like it is occurring to him to see things from your point of view. Dim? Immature? Selfish? Or a combination of all of those probably.

Original poster
Gmee · 21/04/2023 20:27

He’s said he knows he cant have his cake and eat it. He’s not in the space to move on to another woman. However why would you complain we havent had a conversation but when i say lets have a conversation he doesnt want to?!

OP posts:
NotStayingIn · 21/04/2023 20:50

Well, naturally it's much better for his ego if you remain single and pine for him. And he can have all the time he wants to get ready to meet someone else without having to worry that if he changes his mind there is no going back.

100% start dating. Good luck with it OP!

samestyle · 21/04/2023 21:28

He doesn't want to commit but doesn't like you moving on. I would keep conversations about your child and not personal life, it will easier. Men like this have no problem getting into another relationship when they want to, so rather you move on than being stuck in limbo, only to find he'll meet someone else.

CurlewKate · 21/04/2023 21:35

Restrict your conversations to arrangements about your child. Under no circumstances tell him anything about your personal life. And for pity's sake, don't have sex with him.

Bunnywabbity · 21/04/2023 21:37

Stop talking to him about your personal life. He's your ex and he's still a twat.

Zerrin13 · 21/04/2023 23:58

Get this idiot out of your life. He is playing you for his own entertainment and he is offering absolutely nothing. Go on as many dates as you like and don't tell him anything about your life.

PickAChew · 22/04/2023 00:01

Take charge, draw a line and don't share any more with him than he needs to know. He dies not need to know if you're going on a date with someone. He has no claim to you or your emotions.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 22/04/2023 08:33

I can guarantee that when he eventually finds some other mug that he wants to regularly fuck you won’t see him for dust

really really
know this

I’d say it’s very infortunate to have this emotional unavailability at the best of times but when co parenting
nightmare

Your best bet is to decide some boundaries and really stick to them

Landndialamrhf · 22/04/2023 13:21

To be honest we slept together a few times then stopped but still were close and lingering feelings. However nothing happened or moved forward…
obviously. It’s still on the table, and you seeing someone else removes that option. It’s not about you, it’s about his access to you. And by you I mean anyone who can have sex with him and show him love and affection when he needs it, with as little effort on his part as possible. If you remove that, watch how quickly someone else fills that space.

He’s said he knows he cant have his cake and eat it. He’s not in the space to move on to another woman. However why would you complain we havent had a conversation but when i say lets have a conversation he doesnt want to?!
You are listening to what he says and taking that as gospel. Do you believe every word everyone else says? Has he shown you that all of his words are 100% truthful? Look at what his actions are telling tou instead.

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