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Original poster

Would you go on this date?

30 replies

Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 09:07

I'm in a badminton club for years. I've a large number of acquaintances more than friends there. I know one of the women has liked a man there for a long time but I heard through someone else he has no interest in her. Recently, to my surprise, he has asked me if I'd like to go for a drink sometime. Now, I've never thought of him in this way before, but he's a nice guy and I think I'd like to. However, I'm a bit hesitant for fear of upsetting this woman that likes him and I'd hate for there to be any awkwardness. Should I just say no?

OP posts:
Original poster
Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 09:09

By the way, we're all in our 50s so not so young!

OP posts:
CoozudBoyuPuak · 21/04/2023 09:11

Unless the woman in question is a close friend, it's fine. If he's not interested in her then your saying no wouldn't make any difference to her - he will just ask someone else eventually, not her.

If she's a close friend then I wouldn't though.

Original poster
Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 09:14

No, although I've known her for years, she's not a close friend, I see her through the club but not otherwise and I've nothing else in common with her, but just don't want to step on anyone's toes.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 21/04/2023 09:14

If you’d like to go, go. Don’t sacrifice your own interests for someone who will never benefit from it (the guy isn’t interested in her so whether you do or you don’t makes no odds).

AtrociousCircumstance · 21/04/2023 09:15

Has she spoken to you about her interest in him?

dietcokelime · 21/04/2023 09:17

You not going on the date isn't going to make him suddenly turn around and find this other person attractive, so if you want to go - go! enjoy.

Original poster
Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 09:17

No, but I know from another acquaintance, who told me that he told her(interested woman), that he just wanted to be friends with her, nothing more

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 21/04/2023 09:17

We’ll just go for it then!

SleepingStandingUp · 21/04/2023 09:21

Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 09:17

No, but I know from another acquaintance, who told me that he told her(interested woman), that he just wanted to be friends with her, nothing more

Go.
. If you say no, he still won't be interested in her. So she doesn't gain anything. If you say no and he meets someone else tomorrow she also doesn't gain anything and neither do you. So there's literally only you losing out if you say no.

I just wouldn't tell anyone. Have a nice night, see where it goes, and give it a few dates before mentioning it to anyone at Bat Club.

hugefanofcheese · 21/04/2023 09:24

I would go. She's not a close friend and hasn't discussed this with you directly. She will be well aware by this age that sometimes people like you back, sometimes they don't. Perhaps see how things go before talking about the date with anyone at the club though. You don't have to sacrifice a chance with someone potentially nice because someone else likes him but a bit of discretion will help you avoid becoming gossip before it gets going.

user4567890754 · 21/04/2023 09:26

Of course, yes , I would go.

winkywankie · 21/04/2023 09:27

I think if you want to you should go. If you don't, don't go.

If you want to take the bull by the horns, tell her and give her a heads up.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/04/2023 09:31

Of course you should go!

thebestbirtheraccordingtoDD · 21/04/2023 09:33

Go for it. Have a great time and don't think about her. She has no claim or history with him

Original poster
Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 09:34

I'd definitely be keeping it quiet until I see does anything develop. I'm just nervous about upsetting anyone.

OP posts:
aberlot · 21/04/2023 09:39

I wouldn't go, not because of the women, because I would want to protect my future badminton experience and dating within that would be too messy for me.

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/04/2023 09:45

@aberlot Do you realise how difficult it is to find a nice guy in his 50s?

Inthesamesinkingboat · 21/04/2023 09:47

Absolutely go. Have a lovely time

SpringSparrow · 21/04/2023 09:48

It’s fine to go for a drink with him but interested into what makes it a date rather than just a drink with a friend? Also I would be wary of dating someone from the badminton club if you want to continue going it could be awkward if things don’t work out .

aberlot · 21/04/2023 09:57

determinedtomakethiswork · 21/04/2023 09:45

@aberlot Do you realise how difficult it is to find a nice guy in his 50s?

I am not sure that is relevant to what I said?

I wouldn't risk a hobby for a date. It may not be everyone's take but it's mine and it's valid.

Livelifelaughter · 21/04/2023 10:03

I would go. The reason is that at this stage it's not really a date it's a coffee/drink. I was in a similar position as you, a member of my sports club asked me to join him for an art exhibition, had a lovely time but no romance, we get on fine now. I think if you are open to meeting someone than this is an opportunity and if you like the man then accept the invite.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 21/04/2023 10:29

Go ! Why not ? This woman isn’t your sister or best friend

EustaceTheMonk · 21/04/2023 11:51

Do it. She's not his wife or enganged to him.

Original poster
Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 17:05

Livelifelaughter · 21/04/2023 10:03

I would go. The reason is that at this stage it's not really a date it's a coffee/drink. I was in a similar position as you, a member of my sports club asked me to join him for an art exhibition, had a lovely time but no romance, we get on fine now. I think if you are open to meeting someone than this is an opportunity and if you like the man then accept the invite.

Yes, I won't know how we get on until I go, just the two of us, as we've never spent time alone together. I think I might do it, also a bit nervous as I haven't dated anyone since a horrible breakup a couple of years ago.

OP posts:
motherofkevinnotperry · 21/04/2023 17:07

Sh1795 · 21/04/2023 09:14

No, although I've known her for years, she's not a close friend, I see her through the club but not otherwise and I've nothing else in common with her, but just don't want to step on anyone's toes.

Based on this I'd be going on the date but don't rub it in her face. Remain discreet but have fun.