So for context. In my 50s and so was my now ex. I want to learn from the relationship breakdown and what could have worked better.
One aspect I found challenging was his very close friendship with a man 25 years older, gay and who was a priest at his university and he met when he was 20. In our 10 month relationship I never met this person as he lived in Paris, but he would invite my boyfriend over frequently sometimes they would meet just for dinner sometimes for the weekend, I would say every 5 weeks on average. He didn't come to London and my boyfriend explained that I would have met him if he had.
Also my boyfriend would go a weekend break 3 times a year with this person, and a relative of the person and wife; I felt as it was a trip with a couple I should have been invited but later just thought to leave them to it.
Towards the end of our relationship my ex mentioned that he and this were going on holiday to Thailand for 2 weeks later in the year. My boyfriend had taken me on two lovely weekend breaks and had joined me on a weekend that I planned. But he hadn't discussed a holiday at all. I was NOT objecting to his trip to Thailand but I said I felt he should have discussed it with me and not dropped into conversation.
He said when discussing our break up that he felt we had moved to fast and the relationship was too serious and felt like marriage at times (we didn't live togethe, saw each other 2/3 nights a week, but spoke every day); he said if we were married it would not have been right for him to go away with his friend but it was ok because we were dating - I agree he shouldn't need to ask "permission" but I explained it was more to do with him spending so much time with someone who I did not know at all when he didn't really make plans for us and I felt he should have discussed the idea with me.
I want to learn from the break up so would like to know if I was too demanding?
By the way this wasn't the reason we broke up...