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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Steady my arm and help me leave

3 replies

wobblymum1 · 19/04/2023 22:50

I think I’ve hit my final straw tonight.
my dh is randomly very moody and snappy - he can go months being nice and then snap. For no reason.
tonight, I was bathing our son and he came in and told me it was too late and what the hell was I doing trying to bath him at this time. For a split second I debated explaining why it was so late tonight and then I realised it didn’t matter. So I just said bravely “don’t speak to me like that” and he said “you idiot, I’ll talk to you how I want” and stormed out leaving my son break down in tears saying why does daddy do this?
i think this has been my final straw. No matter how hard, how very hard this will be, I’m done being spoken to like dirt in front of the kids.
he’ll apologise by Friday if previous patterns are anything to go by but it means nothing as hell simply do it again. In a week, or a month, or 3
months. But he’ll do it again. And I don’t deserve that and more than me our beautiful kids don’t deserve it.
oh how I wish he just wouldn’t wake up in the morning. That’s how angry I feel. Normally I feel sad when he does this but not this time. I just feel lava- level anger.
this is almost a diary entry to me. i need to leave him.

OP posts:
KateofGhent · 19/04/2023 23:22

@wobblymum1
I didn't want to read and run, OP. It sounds like a lather, rinse and repeat regarding your DH's behaviour. Do you work? Are you able to make plans to be able to leave? I would contact Women's Aid for some practical advice. If you can save then start saving, setting up a rental costs approx £3k re deposit, first month's rent and removal costs ( I know if you are in London and Home Counties it will be so much more) then there is the emotional cost of leaving your family home, unless he will agree to leave. If you are sure your DH's behaviour will not change, then please start making plans and see a solicitor as soon as you can.

Catoo · 20/04/2023 00:16

Sounds like a twat OP.
Start planning your exit strategy.
Imagine a life with your own place, DC, and no worrying about what mood your DH is going to be in. You can have that.
x

Aquamarine1029 · 20/04/2023 00:29

Take that rage and harness it. Don't let it go. Use it to motivate you into moving quickly to get away from that prick. If you have an extra bedroom, move into it. I'd never sleep with that man again.

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