Opinions please, send a text or drop off a card

[Passmethpens]

Hi everyone
I recently finished a fwb/situationship as it just wasn’t suiting and I was more invested and basically he wasn’t willing to move things forward. Anyway we’ve decided to be friends… which in reality means we‘ll be cordial and won’t be awkward when we see each other (which it would have been if we’d ended up on bad terms).
We’re not really texting each other regularly like we used to which is entirely appropriate. It’s his birthday tomorrow.
Ordinarily I would text him happy birthday. But I’m worried if I do this I’ll be looking at my phone all day to see if he replies, which he might not to a simple happy birthday text. Or should I post a card through his letter box, then I don’t know if he’s seen/ read it and won’t be as expectant.
My third option, do nothing, might just end up being more awkward all round!

That's not being friends, that's being sociable. I'd not message.

Does he have a FB profile etc - just drop a generic HB message in the midst of all the rest. If not, nothing.

I’m not on FB so can’t do that I’m afraid

Do nothing. A text is a conversation starter and a card is too intense.

Just wish him happy birthday. He's your friend. Don't over think it.

Not the question you’ve asked but how often are you actually likely to see each other now that you’re not shagging? Are you sure the being polite and amicable and casually wishing him happy birthday isn’t just another way for you to keep in touch with him? Because frankly, I’d block and delete his number and not bother with any of the pretence of “just being friendly” when I presume you weren’t actually close friends before you became FWB? If you do bump into each other you just greet him as you would anyone else on the periphery of your life, you don’t need his number in your contacts and the hope of him one day texting to say he made a mistake letting you go to be able to do that.

And I’d not wish him a happy birthday by text or card. It’s just staying preoccupied with him and hoping he’ll get in touch to thank you.

I bump into him once a week at a mutual activity we do, not enough to start a conversation, but enough to say hi in passing.

I haven’t reached out to him
as I know it’s over and am not expecting him to suddenly regret and realise he’s made a huge mistake- I’m not that stupid and actually the longer I go without texting the prouder I am of myself and the easier it’s getting. It would just be easier if it wasn’t his birthday

You’re right….if I text him… I likely will be expecting a thank you… then I’ve got to start again! I’ll probably leave it, just wanted to see what others thought

Agree with do nothing.

Do nothing.
If you see it at the social thing just say ‘hope you had a nice birthday’ but definitely don’t text!!

Him*

Do nothing

So I did nothing. No text or anything.
then late last night he sent me a video on WhatsApp. I didn’t open it. I checked this morning and he’s deleted it!

Strange eh?
this is not an example of him reaching out properly so I’m not going to even reply

You still have some feelings towards him. Probably best to either keep avoiding or have an honest conversation with him (if you are the type of person who can do that without feeling absolutely crap if it doesn’t go as you’d hope).

This

Just ignore the WhatsApp message. If you bump into him, say happy birthday then

Well done op