Starting dating - when to mention to DD?

[user7826496296]

I've met somebody on OLD. Very early days but I am rather hopeful for a relationship. I have a pre teen DD. When I go on dates I have just told her I am meeting with friends. At what stage do you mention you are dating to kids? I feel to mention nothing then potentially introduce 6-9 months down the line feels off, but I also don't want to mention too early.I was thinking around 3-4 months in if it goes well? Does that sound right? His older child knows but he has dated/had a relationship since the separation so it's nothing out of the ordinary. This is my first potential relationship
Thanks

How long ago did you separate from her dad?

18 months

My partner told his kids just coming up a year but I feel it’s always a bit different when it’s a dad dating compared to a mum as dads generally have more free time to date. Also we wanted to wait until we saw this as a permanent. Only you know your daughter and know what she can handle but I’d personally tell her when you know it’s serious. No point in telling her when it’s early days

Thanks. For context I've only started dating recently. I just don't like lying to her about what I'm doing I try to keep it vague "just meeting friends" but she asks a lot of questions! I'm also having to keep her away from my phone in case he texts and she sees it then asks questions. We make a big thing about not telling lies so I hate doing it.

Sorry how old is DD as that makes a huge difference 😂

I don't see any issue in telling a pre-teen you are going on a date. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Unless you're worried about how she'll react or cope with the situation?

When you meet someone you really like and are intending on spending a decent amount of time with

Thanks all, she is 11. We have chatted generally about how her dad and I will likely start dating at some point in the future, but how I won't introduce her until it is serious. It's just keeping secrets which I really dislike. I think I'll give it another month or two then I'll see how it's going.
Thanks

Awkward one at that age. Kids generally don’t like the idea of this regardless of what people say.

Personally I wouldn’t mention it until you are sure it’s going somewhere. It’s not keeping secrets, she just doesn’t need (or probably want )to know that you are dating. Just say you are meeting up with a friend. I have dated on and off and never told my kids, I guess it helps that they are teenagers and boys and show zero interest in my social life.

I'd tell her. You can say there's nothing more to tell but you'll let her know if there is. Saves lying