when you have 2 or more DCs do you find meeting other mums/dads easy?

[micegg]

Or what I really mean is do you find it all stays a bit on the surface IYKWIM?

I dont feel sorry for myself or anything but when I had DD I made some really nice friends through sites like this and groups, etc. In hindsight it was easy as we all had our first baby and could go to coffee shops and talk etc. My DD (2) is delightful but the thought of going to coffee shops is not appealing any more! I'd be spending the whole time stopping her from tearing the place apart .

At the moment I work P/T so dont meet up with people regularly. However, I am about to go on mat leave with DC2 and may not return for a few years. It just occurred to me today as I was trying to hash a conversation together with one of the mums at my regular playgroup (very difficult when both mums have half an eye on a runwaya toddler) that maybe this is all I can hope for. I dont mind my own company but I prefer to have people I see regularly that are more than just superficial friends. Not sure I am making myself very clear. Have those with toddlers and babies made more than superficial friends with other parents? I am quite chatty and outgoing so dont mind talking to people but often find they are not so interested and it can be difficult to get beyond the idle chat stage.

Everyone is really busy, especially the ones with more than one DC. Having your conversation constantly interrupted doesn't help either.
All you can do is plan nights out with old friends. However, that is going to be almost impossible with a newborn.
Not very helpful but I know exactly what you mean/how you feel. I'm afraid we just have to ride it out, one day we'll get a social life back, but not yet...

Thanks. I thought that might be the case. I am lucy that I have some nice non mum friends who will come and visit me in the evenings! What a saddo.

I do know exactly what you mean. I find life sometimes the same, I have twin toddlers and work part time - so I'm either working from home or chasing them around playgroups..

All the mums I've met in the last 5 months since we moved to this area have been nice, but only a few I've really felt I've clicked with. And this has only been enhanced by organising playdates. Once my girls are happily playing with their toys at home they tend to be more absorbed and I relax more and it's been much easier to chat to another mum properly...

I imagine the more time you spend at a playgroup and the more time off you have to go to playdates/organised trips out (does your playgroup do this? mine do trips to feed the ducks, go to local animal farm etc but i'm normally working)..the more you get to know people better..

Mums nights out are a good idea too. I absolutely dreaded our one at Christmas as I'm not even a regular attender at our village playgroup but it wa great - I sat between 2 mums I'd never even met before and we got on great and have actually been meeting up regulary now. Without the distraction of small children you can make great strides in working out who you get on well with and get to know them much better..

you will find the school run brings you some fab friends

in the meantime go to groups which are designed around the kids like tumble tots or playgroups and make friends there .. then do park runs ... you will find that your second baby is far more portable than your first ever was .. and you'll just pop him/her in the corner at these playgroups and meet new people

I think if you're chatty and friendly you;ll have no problems

Thanks naatyyellow. I think I just need to prepare myself for spending quite a bit of time alone with the DCs. It makes me feel better to know it is difficult and not just me. I have tried making friends with other mums at DDs nursery but havent really got anywhere. I guess it takes time. I am sure it will work itself out. Just a bit weird when you are used to going to work and chatting to the same group of people.

X post with Twiglett. Thanks to you too!

I am chatty but find it difficult to get to the 'would you like to bring so and so to our place to play'. There are a couple of mums from DDs nursery that I bump into regularly but only 'chat' to. I asked one round but she never got back to me . I'm sure there are 100 reasons why. I just need to learn to not take things personally. I live in quite a small place so I think the summer will help as we will be able to go the the park more and will probably see more of the same faces and then things will happen more naturally. I suppose I am just pre empting (sp?) the change in life style that faces me with 2 young DCs and no work. I am a bit scared to tell the truth!

I'm in the same boat, I know some lovely mums at a local playgroup but I usually only get 3 words into a conversation before DS breaks free and tries to leave the building/break his neck/steal drinks of kids with luminous snot candles so it's all a bit limiting. I've been a full time mum since October and it is tough at times, but even superficial several days a week as better than nothing. And maybe as good as it gets, for now. Sniff...

I have, but it's taken some time and quite a bit of perseverance to find out who is going to be a permanent friend. But a big bonus on the way is having all these other people, who may not have turned into bosom friends but who still nod and smile at me and dc's when they meet us. Being known in the community.