how many years would i get for murdering my MIL - with mitigating circumstances!

[scummybusrider]

have name changed for this, but my MIL is DOING MY HEAD IN. me and dh have had a tough 2008 so far, my dad has lung cancer, our cat died, dh had lump removed from face - possible skin cancer and the big concern to us is dh having huge work problems and might lose his job.

my dd will be 6 months old in march when i will be returning to work. She is only grandchild to both sets of parents.

due to possibility of dh having no job, i am reluctantly going back to work full-time (was planning on part-time) and have taken my car off the road to save up in case of financial crisis. TBH i am enjoying the financial freedom of not running a car and travelling by bus esp in rush hour traffic is actually quite appealing.

Anyway, MIL wants to look after dd once or twice per week to help us out. BUT she "simply can't" meet me at a bus stop to hand over dd. She thinks it is "totally unreasonable" for me to ask, and "all her friends" think it is appalling and that i should drop dd at her house and pick her up. She said "but it's not what i had planned"

There are many reasons why it is not possible for me to drop dd to her and collect her, the main one being i dont have a car at the moment and she doesnt live on a bus route.

MIL does not work, drives, gets up at 5am and spends the day doing very little. she says she desperately wants to look after dd but refuses to meet me at a bus stop for handover.

i am very tempted to either murder her, or tell her to sod off and dd will go into nursery. AIBU?

Does she know that you cannot use the car for financial reasons or does she think you are just being difficult ,perhaps should have a heart to heart with her and explain all the ramifications etc.We have quite a lot of problems like this with mu MIL she just doesn't seem to put two and two together to make 4!

Nursery or childminder every time. If your MIL is causing you grief at this early stage then it will only get worse.

It's worth shelling out to get exactly the childcare you want, when you want and without the added complication of family relations.

I would never involve my MIL in my childcare needs because she's festering nest of resentment over every little perceived slight. It's so tedious and just not worth the hassle.

Yeah- she's a cold fish anyway so we're not too bothered...very negative, conversation revolves around her and her boring life (miaow!), not interested generally but takes offense at the slightest thing and then bears a grudge forever...we've had a lucky escape! Hope things work out with the bus debacle. She should at least give it a try and then see how well it works....