'Aren't you thinking about getting married?' (I'm single)

[Neverthinkjustdo]

Just a venting post really I suppose
..

In the current lead for gold medal insensitivity today its my dad with:

Him: Aren't you thinking about getting married?
(I look around. 'To whom?')
Him: 'You're 34 you know, you're not getting any younger'
('Thanks. But you know I don't want kids so there's no real rush to partner up. I'd love to get married some day. But there's no one about rn and I looking back, no one I've dated would have really been marriage material')
Him: Well maybe they feel the same (don't think this was an 'about you' dig but, maybe).
('Maybe they do. But that's no concern of mine').

Patting myself on the back for handling that one pretty well I think.

But yeah it shook me a little. I'd love to find a nice man. But this and the fact that he also mansplained to me that I fill my kettle too full (to the 1 instead of the 0.5) for two people earlier on...tbh mostly makes me glad there's no other men in my life haha.

Seriously though...some people!

Sounds like my dad (although I'm actually married).

Every conversation feels like a criticism of my life choices, however.

Well done OP. It's such an old fashioned idea that women need to hurry up and get married. I'm sure it's one of the reasons that many people end up in terrible ill suited relationships. Thankfully times are changing.

it’s a weird preoccupation, given I’m assuming your dad isn’t ancient.

perhaps he secretly thinks if you find a good man you’ll suddenly want kids, and that’s his angle? Surely he can’t really believe you “need a man” to take care of you.

Perhaps you just need to reassure him that you get good sex whenever you need it and figured out plumbing and car maintenance ages ago, so he doesn’t need to worry about you.

Yeah I feel ya.

Tbf mine doesn't criticise exactly (well, he does sometimes)...it's more just telling me what to do in a micromanaging kind of way.

I mean I can't fault him in other ways. Like he is there for me, you know.

But sometimes I do think I might just smack him with a frying pan and bury him under house lol

Hmm, well he is 75 and maybe worrying about what will happen to me when him and mum go as I'm quite... self contained.

It could be the kid thing too though. I'm not sure he's ever been entirely accepting of that.

OP, I have a daughter your age who seems happy to be single.
I wouldn't dream of asking her if she wishes she were married, or longs to find a partner. She's independent, that's all I wished for my kids.
I find myself frequently rebuffing my own friends who will ask all the 'Is she going to settle down?' [what do they mean? she has a stable job with prospects and a lovely home of her own] 'What about grandkids? and similar questions.
I shrug and do my best to move swiftly on.

Yeah I not a fan of the term 'settle down'. It smacks of 'give up your outside freedoms and be solely a mother and housewife' when directed at women.

I can't claim to have my shit anywhere together lol but I live life on my own terms and have my own savings. I'm not ambitious but I'm at peace with that. In my experience, I've been happier at times in life when single and doing my own thing too. And, dating sucks.

Just had a chat with my mum on the phone about his choice of conversation. I could almost hear her eyes roll to the back of her head lol.

I once had "Are you a career girl or the marriage type?"
From a family friend when I was 25.