Clare’s Law Request query

[GirlAtTheRockShow182]

I left my exH in 2021 after enduring 6 years of emotional and physical abuse. I went to the police but later dropped charges as I had no real evidence. I went to the GP with bruises etc too.

The physical abuse was quite severe including whilst pregnant and later in front of my baby/toddler DD after she was born. After leaving him, I found out he’d been violent to 3 previous ex’s - no one had pressed charges.

He is the master manipulator and even my own DM is often fooled by him (another story).

He wanted nothing to do with our DD3 until recently. He has seen her more since January than since she was 16 months old (4-5 times). My DD has told me about his new “grown up lady friend” and her 2 children. Stupidly, he sent me a photo of our DD with her DD and I’ve managed to piece together who it is. From what I understand, she seems lovely but lost her husband in tragic circumstances 2 years ago and is potentially vulnerable. Very clear exH is acting Dad of the Year to impress her.

My question is: as there are no convictions, cautions etc, but clearly a few things logged against him, would this information show up on a potential Clare’s Law request or would it only show actual convictions?

I do not want to meddle in the relationship and from a selfish perspective, I am pleased he has met a mother as it gives me an element of reassurance if she is there when my DD is with him and I like the idea of her having other DC to play with, who she says are lovely however I’m obviously concerned this lady will get very hurt and only wish someone would have told me what I know now.

A mutual friend who loosely knows her has offered to suggest that she puts a Clare’s Law request in but I’m scared it will make me look like a liar/the “psycho ex” he’s painted me at if it returns clear.

i understand your concern.
maybe his records are clean or maybe the logs are there.
where did you learn that he abused previous 3 partners?
maybe she can learn the same way?

Things will show up.
When one of my relatives needed help getting an abusive partner out of her house, the police told her he was known to them. No charges or convictions had been made, he was just “known to them” for domestic issues. They were extremely helpful. It wasn’t a Claire’s law request though, it was help to get her back into her own home which she had left in an emergency.

Mutual friend could put in for the Clare’s Law request. She won’t be told any info, your ex’s new partner will be. If your social circles overlap, then she won’t know exactly who requested it.

Your ex won’t be told about the Clare’s Law request, but I guess his new partner could tell him about it? I’d imagine the police would advise her not to though.

@bluebell34567 2 of his ex’s and I share a mutual friend who told me.

Another ex is now married to someone I know through a hobby and I asked him after we split and I found out about the other 2.

@Aerosarethebest that is helpful. Thank you. Our social circles do not overlap and my mutual friend only knows her loosely. Possibly not well enough to make the request on her behalf. My mutual friend wants to suggest that the new partner makes the request but my fear is that nothing will show up if there were no convictions and charges were dropped. I wonder if I speak to 101 someone would tell me.

https://clares-law.com/
It says a ´close friend, neighbour or family member’ can make a request on behalf of someone.
If your mutual friend makes a request and the police won’t look into it because she’s not close enough to the new gf, then they’ll be no repercussions on anything for anyone. They may take it more seriously because she actually knows that there is prior police involvement because of her friendship with you.
You could make the request yourself, but I can see you might not want to in case it gets back to your ex.
The thing is, once you make the request you wouldn’t have to think about it anymore in any way because the police then make the decisions about who gets told what.