Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you spend time with these people?

10 replies

SleekMamma · 16/04/2023 22:59

Slightly racist, fixed expectations of gender roles in families. Greedy. Lazy. They don't actually like me, put up with me because I married their son.

I felt like I had to spend time with them (eating of course) but I totally overate. Feel even worse now.

Would it be better to just not go to family events?
I thought I was doing the right thing by going. But now I think I was wrong.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Dontbelieveaword · 16/04/2023 23:03

I'm not understanding the overeating bit? Did they tie you down and force feed you?

You must have known what kind of family you decided to marry into and so have had some time to consider whether you continue to spend time with greedy, lazy racists who dislike you.

Original poster
SleekMamma · 16/04/2023 23:04

I ate too much because everyone else was. A bit stupid really.
And no I did not know his family at all.

OP posts:
Dontbelieveaword · 16/04/2023 23:08

Well, firstly you can't blame them for you overeating. And secondly, now you know the choice is yours who you spend time with. If you don't know the answer, either spend more time with them until you come to a conclusion or go away and think it over then come to a conclusion
Really can't see the point to this thread. You trying to goad people into saying yes, you should spend time with racists? Having a slow boring night waiting for your food to digest OP?

Original poster
SleekMamma · 17/04/2023 06:48

Wow you aren't very nice are you

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 17/04/2023 07:16

I wouldn't spend time with anybody who made me want to write this sort of post on a forum about them.

GreyCarpet · 17/04/2023 08:10

So don't spend time with them if you don't like them.

PP wasn't being 'not very nice'. They are right. You might have valid reasons for not liking them but they didn't force you to overeat so not sure what the point of that part was.

parietal · 17/04/2023 08:27

Are these people important to your husband? Can you see any good in them? Anything you have in common with them?

We can't always spend all our time with people who are perfect and lovely. Sometimes we need to tolerate grumpy or foolish family members. So if this is important to your DH, learn to find something good in them.

DustyLee123 · 17/04/2023 08:28

Are you planning in having their grand child ? If so, I can see you being back here !

brunettemic · 17/04/2023 09:08

sometimes you have to spend time with in-laws whether you like them or not. As for some of their views, how extreme are they, is it a generational difference or open racism and sexism? I despair of some of the things my mum says (yes, I do call her out on it) at times but I wouldn’t say she’s racist if that makes sense.

Hamburgerandchips · 17/04/2023 09:11

How does your DH get on with his family? Would he understand if you didn't want to see his family?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page