Nc because I think she knows my usual username.
Dd is 15. She lives with me and her younger (half) sibling. I divorced her abusive dad years ago. Since then he's been through several relationships. I think he's on girlfriend number 5 in the past year. He was physically, sexually, emotionally and financially abusive to me. He is currently physically and emotionally abusive to our eldest and social services are involved but not particularly bothered and she lives with him. Dd who lives with him has been completely brainwashed by him to see me as the abusive one and alienated from me and the rest of our family.
Lately Dd who lives with me has restarted seeing her dad after refusing to see him for a few months. The court order contact for several nights a week but the social worker got him to not pursue that so Dd sees him when she can be bothered or wants something from him. He is in a much better position financially than me.
In the last few weeks she has become ruder than normal, and has said her dad says I'm a narcissist, I'm selfish and never have anything good to say about her dad. I can't tell her the details of the abuse but she knows he was abusive and he is still abusive if he gets chance, he just does it via the children. Prior to this is was through the children and the courts with court hearings at least once a year over 8 years. Now that they are older he can't do that. Dd thinks I'm being ridiculous for not liking even seeing him from a respectable distance or knowing he is nearby. There is a police marker on the house incase he kicks off but his abusive is far more subtle these days.
His girlfriends accompany him for every single contact he has with Dd. So in the past year she's been introduced to 5 girlfriends and their children and expected to go on holiday with the latest. She said no to that. She's seen him a handful of times this year and every time the latest girlfriend is with him to pick her up, drop her home and for whatever they are doing. She has asked for time with just him and her sister but he never does that. He has to have his gf there and usually her kids too. Dd has told the latest one that her dad is emotionally abusive towards her and that's why she doesn't see him very often. I'm sure a Clare's Law request would prove interesting to these girlfriends but he lays on the charm and they seem to lap it up.
I'm struggling to see what is normal teenage behaviour and what is a result of her dad being a shit and don't know how to handle it. She's normally very sensible, mature and levelheaded but isn't lately. She's not doing her two jobs in the house but expect to me to still pay out for her expensive hobby. The condition of doing the hobby is that she does her jobs. She's on her phone and laptop gaming for hours and I think that will be what is taken off her until her attitude improves.
How do I handle this please