My DP and I have been dating for a year. We only see each other 2 times a week due to distance and busy unpredictable Job hours. Mostly weekends. We text and phone daily and I feel loved. However I feel sometimes we are not in a relationship, but a situationship. Not many relationships to benchmark.
I am moving in with him in the next 4 weeks. Before I met DP I had been single for years. Dated and short term things, but nothing longer than 6 months. I avoid commitment as I dont want to get hurt -just easier by myself. DP was different as we clicked and it just felt right. We just flowed and very relaxed around each other and making plans. We have gone away loads and a big holiday planned soon as well as events booked into the winter.
I feel neglected recently. Don’t know if I am right in my feelings or just wobbling as we are moving in together and it’s the next big step. Never lived with someone and in my 40s. I have sold my house, it keeping the equity safe for my own security incase it doesn’t work out.
we went on holiday over Easter with his extended family. It was exhausting sharing a tiny apartment and the different personalities. DP was fine with me, but 5 days with no escape of arguments and teenage tantrums was hard. The bed was also really uncomfortable so we didn’t sleep well. I left 5 days early as planned (so glad I did) and left DP there as I needed to return to work.
DP went quiet over text after I left and told me he was having a miserable time. It was too much time with them and he hadn’t slept more than a few hours a night. He was shattered and couldn’t sleep during day. We agreed to see each other tonight when he returned after a week apart
he arrived back today after being on flight that left at 6am - left apartments at 3am. I had missed him and excited to see him. I texted late this morning to see how he was and what time he wanted me round tonight and if he wanted any groceries. Said I wouldn’t sleep over so he can sleep, but just see him for a few hours.
He replied and said best not meet tonight as he is shattered and needs to sleep. No idea when he will see me this week as no idea what’s happening with work. but can meet tomorrow for an hour before football. He said next weekend is out as I have a friend visiting, but will join us for dinner.
I feel rejected and upset he doesn’t want to see me today. No idea if I am right in my feelings or having a wobble about moving in. I have form for searching out negative in guys when it gets serious and ending it prematurely. Just don’t feel I am his priority. but not too sure if I am overthinking and not understanding getting up at 3am will exhaust someone and it wasn’t best to make plans.
also to note we started off not making fixed plans and it caused me anxiety as (thanks past relationships) I thought he wasn’t serious, so I made plans with friends instead. We had a chat and he was more relaxed than me, but as I made plans already thought I was too busy. We decided to mark out at the start of the week days we were free in advance . That worked
basically am I being needy or justified in my feelings?