Anyone here moody or living with a moody partner?

[wobblymum1]

I’m just wondering if anyone can shed another perspective on this.
I’m generally a pretty stable ship- I like things calm and I rarely lose my temper. Not a brag, merely a fair description of my temperament. I’ve a million other Faults I could list!

my dp has this (to me) odd cycle of suddenly flying into a rotten mood with no trigger. Latest example today. We’ve had a week away as a family, lovely time. No dramas, all happy. On way home we got stuck in rotten traffic jam (3 hours in heat and whiny kids. Not fun. But I kept it going with playlists and eye spy and we were fine. But he was increasingly agitated, muttering how f’ing ridiculous it was we were in traffic, how we needed to find a way out of it (impossible on a grid locked motorway) and the kids picked up on his mood change.

FF to today and after lunch he suddenly announces he’s off to work. He works M-F so I said how come you need to go to work? Do you need to cover? And he said no, but I’ve had a week away and I want to catch up before Monday. What’s wrong with that? And I said well nothing, I just didn’t know you were leaving and I thought we could do something with the kids before we all go back to work and school on Monday. he then started snapping saying you just take the kids and do something, I’m out of here. Then raised his voice and told me the house was a mess and walked out.
When he came back at 4ish he went straight upstairs and ran a bath which he sat in for 2 hours without asking if any of us wanted to do something with him, so I took the kids out to the park, then when we got in he ignored me completely and then has sat watching tv separately to us all for the night.

he does this in Various ways I’d say once every 3-4 months. It always seems to me to come out the blue and if it follows the same pattern he’ll be cold with me for 2 days then apologise on Wednesday and expect me to be fine with it.

but I’m not. It’s so unsettling for me and the kids who say “why does daddy go in these moods?” And I have to honestly answer “I don’t know”.

im just wondering if any “naturally” moody people can give me a different perspective on this.

oh and to add- If i challenge him why he’s in the mood when he’s in it he becomes very defensive and hostile and I don’t like the kids picking up on that so I now just leave him be until he comes out of the “slump”.

When he stops huffing and puffing I would calmer sit down with him and explain how you feel.

And personally I would say I don't care what he's upset about he needs to grow up and act like an adult for the kid's sake. Oooo big shock traffic jam last weekend of school holiday, everyone travelling at just the same time just like us. We are not special just one of the average families doing normal things.

Calmly explain he is an utter disappointment as a man when he gets like this. You are supposed to be strong, a provider and protector and you are acting like a toddler. And wouldn't have sex with him until he addressed this nonsense of self important bullying. Bullying to his family the people he is supposed to love and protect. It really is pathetic. And if he was my H and father to our children he would know this.

I don't think I'm being overly dramatic when I say that the silent treatment is emotional abuse. A really horrible atmosphere to force everyone else to live in. On the whim of one person.

I'd have a really full and frank conversation with him, during a time when he's on an even keel, about how his behaviour is seriously damaging family life.

Thank you.
it sounds stupid but every time, EVERY time I think things are
ok and we are happy then out the blue he just gets so agitated and angry and goes in this weird mood over…..nothing. Or something so so trivial like a traffic jam, a dropped cup, a messy house, nothing that could ever work me up enough to walk out and then return, have a long afternoon bath and then ignore him all evening while I sat watching films. It’s just so odd. And happens every 3-4 months and always after what I’ve thought was a nice time like a break away or a chilled weekend.

every time it happens it Chips away at my sense
of him being a protector and my safe person. Because he’s not in these moments. And even the kids now ask why does he go in these moods? And I have to honestly say, I don’t know but it’s ok we’ll go do XYZ the 3 of us and have a good time.

Silent treatment is abuse

It sounds really hard. You are a more patient than I would be with his behaviour.