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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Moronic DH stepped over suitcase to come upstairs

65 replies

ukholidayseeker · 16/04/2023 01:19

Why oh why can't my stupid husband ever take stuff upstairs?!? He actually steps over things which are pretty much blocking the staircase to come upstairs. I am now going to lug the suitcase upstairs myself despite not being able to lift heavy things due to bad back.

OP posts:
Secondbirthwhathappened · 16/04/2023 11:24

Invadersmustdie · 16/04/2023 11:07

More fool you for lugging it upstairs and not leaving it for him to do when he wakes up.

I don’t think this is fair. No matter how much we all want to have the time and patience for this, frankly most of us don’t - and in many cases with small children around you can’t just leave tripping hazards and items lying about to ‘teach someone a lesson’.

My husbands the same. He just seems completely blind to anything outside ‘his specific tasks’. Every night without fail he washes up, but he never finishes the job by wiping down the sides and the stove. I’ve nagged so many times but it just doesn’t seem to compute. So every morning I come down to sparkling crockery but crumbs all over the sides and a grimy stove.

I wish I knew what to suggest it’s maddening.

Invadersmustdie · 16/04/2023 11:26

@Secondbirthwhathappened I didnt suggest she leave the suitcase to 'teach him a lesson' I suggested she leave it for him to do because she has a bad back.

qpmz · 16/04/2023 11:31

I'd have taken what I needed from inside the case and left it there for the morning.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 16/04/2023 11:37

Stop acting the victim and just tell him to do it when he wakes up.

StackBlocks · 16/04/2023 11:37

Kvetching · 16/04/2023 10:47

That’s an episode of Everyone Loves Raymond.

Put smelly cheese in it 😂

Don’t let a suitcase filled with cheese be your big fork and spoon 😂

soundsystem · 16/04/2023 11:40

ReplGirl · 16/04/2023 11:17

I'd assume that a suitcase at the bottom of the stairs was there for a reason! Why would I move it

But the reason it's there is because it wants moving upstairs 🤣

I don't think either side of this debate will ever convince the other!

TheMatriarchy · 16/04/2023 11:44

Its not idiocy, its laziness (many males seem chronically infected).

Monkeytennis97 · 16/04/2023 11:47

@StackBlocks literally just about to say thisGrin

Love ELR!

itsgettingweird · 16/04/2023 11:51

Well it's a bit passive aggressive to put a suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and blame the other person for not taking it upstairs - if you haven't asked them to.

Sounds like there's bigger issues than the suitcase though tbh.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 16/04/2023 11:52

Is it any more idiotic than struggling to drag a heavy suitcase up the stairs when you have a bad back? It won't go anywhere. He could have done it this morning.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 16/04/2023 11:54

Secondbirthwhathappened · 16/04/2023 11:24

I don’t think this is fair. No matter how much we all want to have the time and patience for this, frankly most of us don’t - and in many cases with small children around you can’t just leave tripping hazards and items lying about to ‘teach someone a lesson’.

My husbands the same. He just seems completely blind to anything outside ‘his specific tasks’. Every night without fail he washes up, but he never finishes the job by wiping down the sides and the stove. I’ve nagged so many times but it just doesn’t seem to compute. So every morning I come down to sparkling crockery but crumbs all over the sides and a grimy stove.

I wish I knew what to suggest it’s maddening.

Show quote history

So in your world it's either lug it upstairs or leave it as a trip hazard? No half way effort like leaning it up against the wall out of the way?

MagicKittens · 16/04/2023 11:56

Xrays · 16/04/2023 10:23

My whole family has stair blindness. Drives me insane.

So does mine, but unfortunately I share it.

We are currently negotiating past a laptop, dog gate, two pairs of boots and four bags of cat litter on the stairs. The only time anyone seems to notice is if they spill their coffee hurdling the stair gate.

Oh god, I should go and sort it really.

Diddelydi · 16/04/2023 11:57

Ha ha, love that episode!

Wishimaywishimight · 16/04/2023 12:00

Don't be a martyr, lifting a heavy case with a bad back is stupid.

When he wakes up ask him to do it.

ReplGirl · 16/04/2023 12:05

soundsystem · 16/04/2023 11:40

But the reason it's there is because it wants moving upstairs 🤣

I don't think either side of this debate will ever convince the other!

Show quote history

Well I guess it depends on what the norm in your household is,
In mine we have our own suitcases and we can both carry them upstairs. So if I see DP's there I'd move it out of the way, but I presume he wants it there for a reason.
I guess yours knows it needs to be moved but just CBA?

jannier · 16/04/2023 12:08

ukholidayseeker · 16/04/2023 01:28

He's asleep.

Push it to one side and ask him to do it when he's awake.

jannier · 16/04/2023 12:13

ReplGirl · 16/04/2023 11:17

I'd assume that a suitcase at the bottom of the stairs was there for a reason! Why would I move it

I'd guess it's pretty obvious if your due to leave on holiday or if you've come back as to where it's going next

DonnaRix · 16/04/2023 12:51

Me: see if you’re going upstairs can you grab that suitcase and chuck it back in the cupboard

Husband: sure.

No need for passive aggressive suitcase wars

emptythelitterbox · 16/04/2023 13:04

Leave it there for him to move tomorrow.

ReplGirl · 16/04/2023 13:07

jannier · 16/04/2023 12:13

I'd guess it's pretty obvious if your due to leave on holiday or if you've come back as to where it's going next

Show quote history

Not necessarily. DP keeps some travel things downstairs that he likes to unpack there before bringing it upstairs.

emptythelitterbox · 16/04/2023 13:08

Secondbirthwhathappened · 16/04/2023 11:24

I don’t think this is fair. No matter how much we all want to have the time and patience for this, frankly most of us don’t - and in many cases with small children around you can’t just leave tripping hazards and items lying about to ‘teach someone a lesson’.

My husbands the same. He just seems completely blind to anything outside ‘his specific tasks’. Every night without fail he washes up, but he never finishes the job by wiping down the sides and the stove. I’ve nagged so many times but it just doesn’t seem to compute. So every morning I come down to sparkling crockery but crumbs all over the sides and a grimy stove.

I wish I knew what to suggest it’s maddening.

Show quote history

In your case, when he's doing the washing up go in there and tell him the rest of the things that need done. Then check when he's supposedly done. If he didn't do it then he needs to go back and do it.

Yes, annoying to have to supervise the tasks but right now he knows he can do the bare minimum and you'll do the rest.

eyerollwiththepunches · 16/04/2023 13:10

princessconsuelabanahammock · 16/04/2023 11:02

Same 😂

Show quote history

Same, and I'm the worst offender.

I am not a man, but my suitcase stays where it is deposited, until it is next needed. That could easily be at the bottom of the stairs. In the end, you stop noticing that it's there. I have one DC who is frustrated by this (he is male), but the others are just like me.

piedbeauty · 16/04/2023 13:21

Shove it to one side and he can take it up in the morning. Don't be a martyr.

rwalker · 16/04/2023 13:22

I never take anything up dumped on the stairs I purposely step over it
We’re quite evenly split on house stuff to me it’s just I can’t be arsed to to finish the job I’ve started
Today we have a pile of towels that have come of the line and bag with nail gels and uv lamp sat there

TheMarsian · 16/04/2023 14:54

eyerollwiththepunches · 16/04/2023 13:10

Same, and I'm the worst offender.

I am not a man, but my suitcase stays where it is deposited, until it is next needed. That could easily be at the bottom of the stairs. In the end, you stop noticing that it's there. I have one DC who is frustrated by this (he is male), but the others are just like me.

Show quote history

Imagine if you were doing that with everything…..
And each if your dcs too

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