Am I being too sensitive?

[QueenBing]

A guy I’ve been seeing for just over a year has a stunning ex wife, only in looks, she’s not a pleasant person at all. He’ll bring up how beautiful she was every so often (usually if we’ve been drinking!) and how she lit up a room and turned heads. It makes me feel desperately insecure and I’ve told him this. My exH cheated on me repeatedly for years and this has damaged me.

A few nights ago he was talking about a funny video he’d seen on FB about a hotness v crazy chart. Basically the hotter the girl, the more crazy came with her was the gist of the video. He said words to the effect of “and don’t I know it from past experience”. The video said you want to aim for a 6-7 for hotness because a 10 brings all the crazy and he said oh how true that was. He saw the look on my face and quickly backtracked and said “but I’ve got beautiful and calm now, this is where I want to be”. I can’t help but feel he’s almost settled for less attractive. I know I’m not as attractive as she is but it’s hard not to compare myself and feel inadequate when he says things to fuel my insecurity.
Am I being over sensitive?

If he keeps bringing up his ex its sounds like he is still hung up on her

I don’t think he has any romantic feelings for her any longer, but it’s almost like she’s his proudest achievement and a bit of a trophy in a “look what I managed to marry, aren’t I the man” sort of way and it’s that which makes me feel inadequate.

Nope, not too sensitive. He sounds like a dickhead, but hopefully he has good qualities that you didn't mention.

Honestly, how old are you? My DD is 25 and there's no way she'd be involved with someone who spends time on videos, social media etc of this nature.

My advice would be that you both need to live in the real world, in the 'here and now' and with an adult view of life, which does not involve SM and all that entails.

Good luck.

I think he’s really spiteful to say those things. I’d be hurt a lot by those comments to the point I would probably throw the towel in & end it. I couldn’t imagine being with someone who made me feel less than. Even more so to his ex wife.

Maybe he has good points but I don’t think I personally could see past them. Have you actually sat down & made it clear how his comments make you feel? & do you truly believe he is over her?x

He sounds like an awful twat and you should rethink being with someone whom clearly makes you feel even more insecure.

He's a twat.
A lot of women would have had him dumped.

They simply couldn't be listening to that type of twittering on.

Immature and unattractive.

Do you have a handsome ex?
Next time he brings up his ex, show him a photo of yours and say, ‘I know what you mean. Look at x, wasn’t he handsome as fuck? I used to have to fight the other women off. Glad I don’t have to do that any more’

Or bin him off.

One of the two.

I have told him how his comments are hurtful and that they make me feel even more insecure about myself. He hasn’t mentioned how beautiful she is for a little while now which is why this comment about the video threw me. I haven’t told him how this made me feel, I’ve just been stewing about it wondering if I should get over myself and just accept he had a prettier ex than me. He does have many good points and I do love him but when my self esteem and self confidence have taken a battering from my marriage, comments like this are hurtful.

You're not too sensitive. At best, he is insensitive. At worst, he's enjoying making you feel insecure and inadequate.

Hmmmm, can’t he just F right off with his ‘good looking’ trumps all over ‘good’?.

sounds like you’re too good for him to me?!

I would find those sorts of comments a complete turn off and my vag would snap shut, never to open for business with a man like that ever again.

You're not being overly sensitive. He sounds incredibly immature, OP. You don't have to be with anyone who makes you feel unhappy.

Sounds like a pig. Dump and leave the Neanderthal

He seems wildly immature.

He sounds like a nasty wanker.
Bin him.

🤣

If you have any interest in actually giving yourself the best chance of a good future.

You would dump this waster.

Get yourself some counselling so that you are looking for a relationship confident in yourself and your self worth.

You clearly are very insecure and have chosen a twat that exacerbates that.

Help yourself here OP, or accept this is your life.

Insecure and with a twat who makes you feel worse about yourself.🤷🏻‍♀️

Are you so desperate for a relationship that this is what you will accept?

You have one bad marriage behind you.
Surely you want to help yourself choose better next time?

Staying with a twat like this, is only wasting YOUR time.

What’s his problem?! Horrible behaviour. You’re not sensitive, he’s rude.