Online dating/relationship abroad....did it work for you?

[Overseaspartner]

Did it work? This man found me, I wasnt really looking but we got chatting (messaging each other). He said that he would like to meet me in person but he lives in a different country right now cos of his job which contract is due to end soon.

I'm not thinking too much into it. He not asked me for anything. I probably end up meeting someone else in my town. I don't know, who knows!

Carry on chatting if you want. Keep an open mind. Don't rule out dates with people closer to home.
Absolutely ask for video chats. Absolutely never give him money or gifts or any personal information from surname, date of birth, address, workplace. There are some very clever conmen (and women) out there.
Hope you find your person 💐

Perhaps I’m a synic but I smell a romance scam. Have you not read or heard of such scams?

He might groom you for absolutely months months before the plausible begging bowl comes out.

Contract issues, sick kid medical treatment, equipment purchases to complete his contract for a big payout, money to pay for the release of funds held for tax, the lists are endless. Be careful, be very very careful.

I hope I’m wrong.

https://www.romancescams.org/

Be careful... I get friend requests every day from strange men and they are all ime the products of scammer's imaginations,

In their profiles they are all usually:

American
Early 50s
Silver fox type looks
Widowers or divorced
Surgeons or oil contractors
Current or ex Forces
Working in a country other than America- usually a bit dangerous like Iraq, Syria are favourites.

Sometimes I get 2 or 3 of these requests a day!! I must have upset someone who knows a scammer!

Yeah I don’t get these overseas relationships, I’ve found they’re either scams or people who are married but have ways and means of travelling abroad for flings due to their work. I don’t understand why someone would want to book a flight to another country every time they want to meet up for a date. Surely there are enough people to date in the country they’re living in. I would definitely air on the side of caution

Scams aside I dated somebody long distance overseas. It was such hard work, genuinely hard work. Expensive to travel for visits. We had some cultural differences as well but nothing major, but certainly ab extra strain when already very far apart. He was a great guy, we didn't end on bad terms it was just too difficult to maintain. Also he would have needed a visa to move here or I there, and neither of us could get behind the idea of marrying somebody we had only spent weeks at a time with. It lasted maybe 3 years but I wouldn't do it again. You also have to be very trusting as obviously if you're only there once very few months it's easy to imagine them having their head turned by somebody more available which is another strain on the relationship. I also spent a lot of those 3 years glued to my phone or laptop which in hindsight wasn't great, we called a lot but I was missing out on real world experiences for the sake of chats and phone calls.

One of my cousins who is white English did fall for a Nigerian guy she met on Facebook; on paper it shouldn't have worked but it did - they married & are still together with 2 children nearly 15 years later!

It's not been all good though, he's suffered racism including an episode of physical violence from locals.

As a couple they fought a lot to begin with as she has a strong personality, & culturally he felt as a husband he should be the dominant partner. So they both had to learn to compromise.

I think what helped was both of their wider families were very supportive and involved.
Also they were the same age, both attractive people, & he was actually financially better off than her.

Yes i am aware of the online scams and online grooming from people.

It may never happen. But everything is ok for now. I know i not to give out my personal details as that is dangerous. I havent video called him yet as he wanted to. Just early days for me, just keeping him as a friend for now. Unsure it is for me anyway.

Just wondering if there any good endings to anyone who moved up the next stage of their relationship or decided not to. (if it ever happens to me).

Why did you not want to video chat? I think maybe this would be my first priority. At least then you'll know his face matches his pictures, which I a good start. What country is in at moment? Is he originally your own nationality and his spell abroad temporary?
In your eyes, what would 'moved up to next stage' look like?
Are you still actively dating matches in your own area?

Depends, if his contract is due to end and he's going to be permanently living near you soon, then keep him as an option. I do wonder in this case why he's online dating now rather when he's actually settled.

Why not, how far is it? If it is Europe it is doable to see each other a couple of times a month. We live in an open world and you never know where you find love! People relocate if things get serious. I don't see the reason being rigid , you just never know! Go for it but yes be careful, see each other often, set our relationship goals if it progresses, etc

@ArianahX hahahahaha...

Omg !!!!

He wanted money for his sons project in USA.... 🤣🤣🤣

See ya!!!!

Ive only spoken to him for a week...
Im glad hes gone. I wasnt looking for any romance. Jeeez!!

Thought so! I just find the whole signing up to a dating site to look for someone in another country very dodgy indeed. There is absolutely no reason to look for someone in another country when there will be thousands of potentially suitable partners in their own country. I cannot imagine why anyone would choose to want to go on dates with someone who lives in a separate country unless those countries are like Great Britain and joined onto each other and no expensive flights involved.

The only exception to this is for if you’ve actually met in person on a holiday or whilst travelling etc and neither party specifically went out of their way to find a date in another country, they just met by chance and spent so much time together and decided to try and make a go of things. But the majority of these sort of relationships are extremely difficult and expensive to maintain and do not last.

Oh wow did you bother replying?

My bet was on a parent needing an operation/ transplant. You win!
At least now you know and I hope you meet someone genuine close to home.

It was through insta as im not on any dating site as i prefer the old fashioned way...meet in a bar or pub or the gym etc.

Hes an American but works in Africa with the UN as a doctor. He asked me for $500 for his sons project at a boarding school. (!?!)

I said im sorry but i dont even know you!!

Even if i did know him (met him), he would put me off for asking me money after a week of meeting him?!

It was a shame but i blocked him and deleted him

Bbyyyeeeeee