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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Processing anger post ghosting (funny suggestions welcome)

6 replies

Drinknumber11 · 15/04/2023 16:03

Dear mumsnetters, please help me calm me down after a ghosting.

I’m 41F divorcee no children. Good career own house etc.
Met a guy on OLD - first 3 months we met up a lot (but long distance). Then he made plans to come spend the weekend with me - which he cancelled due to work. He then cancelled again. Then I had to cancel. Then I said to meet halfway again - he cancelled 3 times. Now because he was constantly messaging, phoning me I thought ah ok maybe he is busy with work otherwise I would have sacked him off.

the last time he cancelled I just said to him that I’m confused why you keep in touch but don’t meet. He replied saying he will reply to me later that day but hasn’t - this was 2 weeks ago and not heard from him since.

After going through feeling it was all my fault, am I not good enough, crying etc. Now I’M JUST SO ANGRY at him. I really feel like doing a good old fashioned throwing eggs at his car or puncturing his tyres etc.

Anyone help to process this anger in a healthy way (or give me funny suggestions to exact revenge)? Before you ask I’m already speaking to my therapist about this!

OP posts:
Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:06

You allowed him to cancel… what 6 times?

Cleoforever · 15/04/2023 16:06

Op by third cancellation you should have been waving goodbye

Drinknumber11 · 15/04/2023 16:13

I know I’m shouldn’t have let him cancel so much and I know the advice I’d be giving to my friends.
Ive been dating 6 years and after so long someone nice who I had chemistry with came along…so I let my standards down

OP posts:
qqq82 · 15/04/2023 18:11

He married I bet

qqq82 · 15/04/2023 18:11

He's *

Thisisworsethananticpated · 16/04/2023 10:42

I’d say maybe the anger is partially with yourself- bear with me …

i dated a cave man type for a whole year and I was super angry at the end too
but the fact is he was very consistent in his crappy behaviour
I had a couple of days when I genuinely wanted to throw a brick through his window !

but now I’m like 🤷‍♀️
And I’m clear that what happened with him wont occur again

i know it’s a cliche but the best revenge you can do is totally block him on every single channel
totally eradicate
stick with the therapy and explore raising boundaries and having a happy life regardless

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