Met a fab guy, X, online Aug 20. Early 50s. Had a few dates. Really clicked, but due to COVID, he didn't want to meet up IRL. We carried on messaging and became really good friends, even supporting each other through some tough life situations.
Life carried on for both of us. We met IRL once in Aug 21 when X felt COVID was low enough. Again, that spark was there.
We were both in a position to properly start dating in Dec 22. X lives 2 hours away, so seeing each other is limited. We've probably spent about 25 days together since Dec.
This week, X told me he doesn't feel anything different for me compared to December. He said there's no fireworks. So he can't see a long term outlook for us. Because he wants the fireworks and flutters and those infatuation feelings you get early on when you meet someone.
From my perspective, my other 2 LTRs began as friendships, so there wasn't the fireworks he's describing. The love grew from knowing the person deeply, rather than the heady rush. Which is where I was heading with him...
He's never had a friendship become a relationship. So I don't think he can get his head around that love doesn't need the fireworks. Plus, I think he probably had the fireworks back when we met due to his behaviour but he suppressed them as he knew it wouldn't go anywhere. So much has happened since Aug 20, he can't recall his emotions from that time. I certainly had a buzz when we met and was so disappointed when keeping COVID safe was his priority, although fully respected his decision.
We're going to have a follow up chat soon after we've processed all that we talked about. I think we need to spend more time together before he concludes love between us is unlikely to grow. For me, having a friend turn into a partner is the very best outcome. For X, it's a non starter because he's not having that emotional high.
Has anyone experienced fireworks with a friend turned partner? Have I got it all wrong and should I have expected fireworks about my friend when we started dating?