How to accept being single and childless

[Rnc96]

I appreciate some women may choose to be single and childless, but it wasn’t by choice for me.

I’m on antidepressants (tried another type recently but hasn’t really helped much yet), seen a psychiatrist, attend CBT sessions. I have good friends, hobbies, live in a great city and have a decent corporate job to keep me busy. But it’s still so hard to get rid of this longing feeling I have for my own partner and family.

I go through phases of doing well at keeping myself really busy in life then other days the smallest thing can set me off. On particularly bad days, even seeing young families or couples in public caught up in their own lives can hurt. I feel so detached from society, I’m in a big city constantly surrounded by people but feel so lonely and hollow inside.

I feel guilty because despite genuinely being happy for friends/colleagues/relatives who are parents, I still find it challenging being around babies or kids. I’ll always ask about their kids (genuinely interested because I only want good things for them) but physically being around them stings.
An old friend who I hadn’t seen in a while invited me to their baby shower this weekend and I’m having to make an excuse because I’m not mentally strong enough to go.

I really want to be set free from this irrational longing I have and to just accept these are the cards I’ve been dealt with, to move on with life.

I'm not childless but have been single for nearly forty years and I would have love some companionship and sex, but it didn't happen.

I find we have to count one's blessings, really. From just being alive, to seeing the sun come up, even on the blackest days there are quite a few. As there are so many horrible things that can go wrong in a lifetime, it is really important to appreciate what we have rather than concentrate on what we don't have.

I m telling you this not trying to be rude or judgemental but why don’t you allow yourself to at least try and achieve one of those ? I was a single mum to 2 kids firme a very long time , one by choice after giving up on finding a suitable partner ,just as you I had a great job , home etc

You can be a mum .

I have been there and it's a painful thing. What has helped me was connecting to women going through the same thing. I found Jody Day on YouTube and discovered Gateway Women through that. I attended a weekend seminar that allowed me to talk through what I was feeling with other women who were also wanting to accept their lives. Another useful resource is World Childless Week.. lots of resources on their site. Sending lots of love and hugs ❤

I can really sympathise with people here. What’s been hard is that my career has been looking after everybody else children. I always though that one day it would be my turn, but its never happened for me for whatever reason.

Recently I have been working on the idea that the grass is greener when you water it. To appreciate what I have and that I get to see kids every day at work and I can see the grow and become parents in their own right (nearly thirty years now).

I have a choice, and i choose to love my life.

Thatsthebottomline excellent positive mindset. Not just that but you are so right on so many levels.