WWYD - OLD verging on penpal territory

[Kittykat98]

I’ve been single for about 3 years now and half heartedly been on the apps in that time. It’s kind of awkward timing because I am looking to move ‘home home’ due to family commitments, but there’s a complete lack of jobs in my area so it’s taking longer than expected.

When I was at home two weeks ago I matched with this really nice guy and we have been messaging daily(!) since. I have been at home this week and we had pencilled in a date tomorrow, but not confirmed anything yet.

However. I’m just not sure if this is the best thing to do right now and I’m considering cancelling. The fact is I do live almost 4 hours away and I do still have commitments there. Although I am at home regularly, after this weekend I don’t know when I will be here next. My notice period is 3 months, so even if I get a job soon, it will be a while until I move. I’ve done long distance before and it’s just so difficult.

I like talking to him and I would like to meet but what’s the point in having a penpal for months! I know this isn’t the WIBU board but WIBU unreasonable to cancel and say I’ll be in touch when I know I’m moving? I’m so torn!

It's not unreasonable at all if that's what you want to do. Do you think you would spend months wondering what he might be like in real life? Maybe a quick meeting would answer that question? Or are you more worried about being distracted for months if you do like him on that first date?

I would probably meet him. Make sure he is aware of the situation though. Maybe he might not be keen on the "penpal" thing either.
He might turn out to be great and even though it's long-distance now, it won't be permanently long-distance because you are planning to move back.

I think I'd just meet him. It's not a big deal. You're not committing to anything. You're getting yourself in a tizz about a few hours with someone you don't know; it's really not worth getting confused about. There's a million variable even for people who live 5 minutes from each other.

Just go, or you’ll build him up too much in your mind. He might smell bad, or have a weird voice or something. I always found the ones I got on best with in writing, were the ones where there was no spark in real life.

Yes this is all true! I think I’m nervous we’ll have nothing to talk about, nervous of the potential of being long distance and also fed up of the work situation 😅 I’m in my own head too much!

If he's the right guy, none of that will matter, and if he's not... none of it matters, so, really, you've no reason not to go.