Man messenging me on Facebook after finding me on a dating app - IABU to dislike this?

[PurpleFeather]

I’m newly single and on a few dating apps. One guy saw me on Bumble (we didn’t match) and then he found me on Facebook and messaged me there to ask me out (I have an unusual first name so I’m not hard to find).

I’m a bit miffed really. Surely this goes against how these apps are supposed to work?

I thought about messenging him back to tell him I don’t appreciate this but in the end I just ignored it. Is this bad form or is this normal now?

totally unacceptable... I think someone with that lack of boundaries though would not take kindly or respond well to you messaging him saying that - and you've then rewarded him with some attention (even negative)so I'd ignore or block and just not engage...

Beyond creepy. Report his account on Facebook and let Bumble know. He may also not have found you via your name but a reverse image search via Google - very easy if you have public social media and you have the photos on their too

Yep agree with that re reverse photo search...I've actually no clue how to do it but I've been warned of that before and I've made sure that any dating app pics I've ever put up have never been on LinkedIn or any social media that's not locked down privately

You just paste the image into Google these days or use a site like tineye

Yeah this is totally crossing a boundary and I wouldn't like it either. As PP said I'd block on FB. Make sure your privacy settings on FB are as tight as you can make them.

Also if your name is really that unusual I'd consider using a different name on your profile on Bumble. You can always tell potential dates your real name as soon as you get talking to them (if you feel safe to do so obvs)

Thanks I’m glad it’s not just me. I have previously used a fake name but then always feel a bit embarrassed when I have to reveal my real name. The guys I dated have always been nice about it/found it funny😅

I will block this chancer. Thank you.

Obsessive and scary. I’d be so creeped out

That's crossing a line if you haven't matched. Some people put their Instagram info on their profile so I suppose it's ok to contact in that case but you haven't done so.

If he's messaged and said something polite and 'I really liked your profile and think I may have swiped past you by mistake but remembered your unusual name so thought I would try this route, apologies if it is an overstep' then I wouldn't be too concerned but would feel free to ignore. If he's not acknowledged the potential awkwardness or put something presumptuous or creepy then I would block.

Can you use a short version of your name on OLD? Doesn't matter if you don't use it in real life, you can let people know when you chat. Plenty of people do this if they have unusual names including a good friend I met via OLD (lovely guy, not a romantic match!).

Agh 🙈 I did these recently to chap I saw on tinder -we didn't match (not sure if I swiped right or not Tbh) but he'd got a lot of personal details on his profile so was easy to find on Facebook.
He didn't reply -I hope he doesn't think I'm super stalky, it was meant innocently!
This thread has made me look in different light now though.. 😬

Out of order on his part.
If a woman did this, we'd be called a bunny boiler!

Block him on Facebook.

Report him to Bumble. They will take his stalkers behaviour seriously and ban him. They won't want him stalking other women on their app.

Happened to me....he got blocked 🚫 😕

I had this a handful of times (over 3 years of OLD) including an unsolicited dick pic. I asked the sender why they'd sent me a picture of a child's penis. Needless to say I was blocked sharpish.

@knobheadex i admire your confidence haha! I’m pretty confident/don’t take any shit but still I am fearful of (possibly) aggravating men. I hate this about myself but it is the way it is. So I didn’t reply but blocked him instead!

It's intrusive and totally not on.
The point of apps like Bumble is that you have to 'match' first so you aren't very run with messaged from men who you are not interested in.

I would find what he's done totally unacceptable and I wouldn't bother to reply - just tighten up my FB privacy settings and change your name (use a nickname etc) on either bumble or Fb

No not normal !
id block him if not interested

I’ve never come across this and I’d find it rather creepy too

There was a thread on here not that long ago where the poster had swiped left not meaning to and everyone was suggesting ways for her to find him.

Just ignore the message or tell him you're not interested. Easy.

I swiped the wrong way on someone and when I asked on here if there was a way to reverse it, was told to just message him on Instagram. But he had included his hobby insta in his bio.

I still didn't though!