How do you septate when you cannot afford to move out?

[Attemptingtobesingle]

I don't earn enough to rent - Couldn't afford the deposit, not got a guarantor, certainly couldn't afford the years rent upfront some landlords ask for, never mind the rent being over 80% of my current wage.

I have very little savings, less than 1000.

DC is in nursery three days a week. Wouldn't want that to change if I could help it.

I earn less than 2000 a month.

How do I leave a relationship? I have no family around to stay with or help with childcare.

I won't be eligible for help from the council for money to pay rent or somewhere to live while I'm working and earning as much as I do...

Do I have to quit my job and make myself homeless in order to leave?

Do I need to stay in a relationship that is, not abusive but in which I am unhappy and walking on eggshells, because my circumstances dictate it is my only option?

Genuine question, what are my options?

I'm sorry you are in this situation.
First off, are you safe enough with him that you can tell him you want to separate and do so while staying in the home? If so I would recommend first off applying for benefits based on being a single parent. You may get help with nursery and it makes no sense to not go on the register with the council. You can do all this while being there.
What is his situation? Can he move? Will your child stay with you?
If you do not feel safe (and although you say it isn't abusive, walking on eggshells is part of being in an abusive relationship) then please contact women's aid- or Samaritans will also have contact with local women's charities, they can advise the best way forward.
Start making a financial plan, get a new bank account he doesn't know about, slowly shift money into it.
There are lots of little things you can do along the way which will make the final separation easier.

Thanks for your message.

DC is under 2 & still breastfeeding so will stay with me.

It would be me moving, he has a child from previous relationship 50/50 & rents the house we are in from a friend.

Finances are separate and we aren't married.

I'm not in danger, just going to be very unpleasant.

Have told him after latest argument I'm trying to work out what would be better, break up or try to work on our relationship.

I don't think I have much choice but stay with him.

Financially things are very uneven - which I have brought up with him. Although he contributes to childcare I pay 95% of everything else & have done throughout.

Rent & bills are spilt & we rent a room in our house to lower costs.

I don't think I can apply for any benefits while living with him. I think I would need to make myself homeless to do so..

I'm stuck.

You absolutely can apply for benefits. I was under the same roof as my ex for nearly a year and had benefits. Just tell them you are separated but have not moved yet. There is a section on the form for this.

I didn't know that, I'll look into it

https://benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/

Good luck... there will be a way out.

If you earn less than £2k a month and have childcare costs, you’d definitely be eligible for some UC to help with rent and childcare costs.

And yes you can apply while you’re still there. Try the calculator with different rent amounts to see what it says. Your council may also have a scheme to help with deposits for private rent, try giving them a ring.

Put some dummy figures into the website entitled to. I’m sure you’d get some help with rental and nursery costs. Even if you’re earning a fair amount, if your rent would be 80% of your salary you’d be entitled to help

Financially things are very uneven - which I have brought up with him. Although he contributes to childcare I pay 95% of everything else & have done throughout.
Rent & bills are spilt & we rent a room in our house to lower costs.

This isn't really clear. With "95% of everything else" do you mean just baby-related costs? General household costs? Who pays for food fir example/does the cooking? You're right that this does need to be addressed. If necessary, assuming bills are on his name, by you unilaterally dropping part of them if he's dragging his feet on coming to an agreement.

Does your partner work? If he’s the father of your 2 yr old you will also get CM.

Have you moved into a seperate room?

You'll need to but is there room?

Thank you all. I've played with the benefit calculator and I absolutely can move out if needs be. Just a case of finding somewhere suitable.

I guess I need to see if he wants to work on things or not.

Thank you all again. This community really is so amazing.

I guess I need to see if he wants to work on things or not

Why does it matter what he wants? You've said you're unhappy and that you want to leave. It seemed that money was the only thing that was in your way, and now you've resolved that, it suddenly depends on his feelings.