32 - single and looking to settle down!

[Flutterbye22]

Was in a 14 year relationship with long term partner. We had a house together. Engaged. Due to get married and wanted to start a family. Our relationship ended last year. Have since moved back in temporarily with my mum while I save up more money to buy on my own, but kind of want to meet someone so we can move in together.

where on earth can I meet someone? I work from home half the week, and rest of the week in a clinic full of women (women only team). All my friends are in long term relationships getting engaged, married, buying houses.

I feel incredibly depressed and had to start anti depressants. Really struggling to know how I can keep my spirits high and meet someone when I feel this low. But ultimately that’s what will fulfil me too, and make me happy.

help?? Was on app before (bumble) met a man with 6 year old daughter and we dated for 8 months but didn’t work out. I’m scared to go back on app.

Are you sure now is the right time to be looking for a long-term partner (or just sometime with a house to save you having to buy your own?).
Concentrate on your mental health, becoming independent, having your own accommodation and maybe trying to be build more friendships with people you cam share hobbies and social events with. Once you feel happier and more confident in yourself, hopefully the right person will come along and you will enjoy that relationship a lot more than rushing into meeting someone just because your depressed, bored, lonely and fed up living at home and

We're in similar positions but I'm older than you so I feel like my time has now run out to have kids. I'm not willing to settle or have kids on my own, and neither do I have the practical or emotional support to do the latter.

Was there a reason why you were willing to date a man who already had children? I would have thought you'd aim to be with somebody like yourself. It does happen obviously, but a person without children having a relationship with someone with small children seems very unbalanced. Your partner will presumably end up being your top priority, emotionally, whilst you will never be theirs as the kids will always come first, even if they're grown up, because they will always be his children. I'd stay clear of that if you can.

I try to keep my spirits high by immersing myself in htings that I enjoy, although I've had weeks when I've been really down.

So, people without children shouldn't date people with children as you'll never come first? But you recognise that you're time to have children is running out but the thought of having stepchildren is 'settling' to you?
Bizarre, bit hey, good luck on that romantic search

I'm confused, if you came out of a 14 year relationship last year how have you also had time to meet and date someone else for 8 months? It doesn't sound like you're taking any time to be single even straight after a really long relationship? This doesn't seem healthy. Or you saying you want to meet somebody so that you can move in together. Maybe you need to focus on other things for a while?

Either make yourself more sociable after work and be open to dating online as well, quite often we go through a few short lived relationships until you meet someone long term, just because the last one only lasted 8 months, you already know you're capable of being in a long term relationship, if you don't try you'll never know.

Our relationship ended beginning of 2022, but we weren’t really together for a long time. Just living as room mates. I met last guy I was seeing end of July last year.

Yes, you’re probably right…. I’ll try to focus on myself a bit more.

You should be looking to meet someone nice. Not planning to move in with them immediately.

I suspect you are feeling lonely and want to replace your ex. Searching for a partner when feeling like that may lead to you making bad decisions.

Get help if you are depressed and then find a new partner. Don't rely on a partner for happiness.

I think you should focus on what you can control (work, saving for a house) and take some time to be single. Did you hold on for too long to your previous relationship? Being single is a positive option, try to reframe this in your mind. Definitely better than being with the wrong person.

i met my husband at 35 and have 2 kids. WeI met through a sport club. I had a policy of never dating anyone from work, so that also wasn’t an option.

Can you get a part time evening/ weekend job in a pub? A younger crowd pub?

Look on Meetup for a social group in your local town/city. Will get you out the house and having connections with people, which will help with the depression.

Goodness you've barely had any time to focus on yourself!

Focus on your mental and physical health
Join a gym and take up exercise
Go travelling or book a trip to somewhere you've always dreamt of going
Catch up with your girlfriends
Do a course or evening class
Read some self-help books and take up mindfulness
Join a book group
Have an adventure
Do something trivial but fun for yourself like a hair restyle, tattoo or makeover
Travel!

Then after a year start revisit your relationship needs