Would you try and change yourself if this is how people thought of you?

[Hardworkverydifficult]

If you were described as being hard work and very difficult. If so how?

It depends on who said it and why they thought I was hard work.

Yes, this^^

I would if I thought they had a point. We all sort of know on some level if we're in the wrong.

I think it depends on the context. My ex would have described me as hard work and difficult. I would describe him as a narcissistic gaslighter. My husband wouldn't agree with him.

I think it depends a lot on if your behaviour is actually out of order, or if someone is trying to make you smaller to suit themselves. Are you actually hard work or are they just trying to get out of doing the work they should be in a relationship? I'd trust your gut.

Need more info.

I would reflect on whether this was a universal opinion from people whose judgement I respect. If so, what makes them think that? Am I letting problems with my upbringing or the current frustrations in my life spill out into how I treat others?

Sometimes all it takes is just the resolution to not be a dick. Sometimes it is that simple. Not easy, necessarily, because you have to learn to stop and think before acting, and learn new ways of dealing with stresses, but, simple.

It would also depend on things like how long the person had known me, if they were the sort of person who meets people half-way or if they expect everyone to change to suit them, whether they are generally reasonable, and so on.

Depends who said it and why. Ex said I was unreasonable and over emotional. Current OH says he sees no sign of that. Personally I don’t think i was unreasonable, I think ex was a total commitment-phobe!

Who has described you this way? Is it someone who's opinion you trust/value?

If it is fairly universal that you are considered 'hard work' then I guess it depends how much you want to be liked and included in things. If you would like more friends, more invitations etc then yes it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to examine your behaviour and consider making some changes.

Can you think of why someone might say that? Sometimes things in life can overwhelm us a bit and we're not at our best.

Do you find others / life in general or some relationships hard work or difficult?

It would depend on how many people had expressed that opinion. If it was something that had been said by more than one or two people, I think I’d try to understand what part of my personality was difficult for others and work on it.

Hard work how? Need details please.

I got called this at work when I stood up for myself and questioned/ challenged things that I thought were unfair and unjust . Some people don't like being challenged esp if they think they are entitled and see you as a pushover.

Exactly.

I'd be cautious - in my experience, it's often used to put down women especially who are being assertive and not taking crap.

Equally if I did think someone was 'hard work', the last thing I'd do is tell them so - I'd have some specific examples to where the issue is & work from there in a discussion.

I'm not sure anyone ever has been motivated to change be being told they are 'difficult' or 'hard work'

I would probably ask, "In what way?"

I'd ask people who I like/love and trust and respect and who know me well their views.

Wouldn't bother me.
Wouldn't change a thing.

It's not like other people aren't hard work.

When you find the right partner and friends you are all hard work together in just the right ways.

Part of me thinks this and part of my wishes I wasn’t hard work.

I think I need to consider why the reason I’m hard work is hard work for them specially.

Who is ‘them’ @Hardworkverydifficult ?