Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bitter about my life

5 replies

Janese2 · 12/04/2023 17:26

I have two siblings . We all moved together to England after dramatic abusive childhood in different country and promised each other to stick together. They both managed to marry very rich . Both have great lives, don’t need to work, loads of family support from families of their spouses. I, on the other hand, ended up being single parent with no one(my children’s dad had drugs problems and is not in our lives). I was the only one of us going to university wanting to improve myself, but ended up in the worst situation. We see each other once a while because they travel so much . I love them, but feel so resentful. I don’t want to and I’m happy for them, but it sometimes feel like they don’t get my struggles at all. I occasionally ask them to babysit and they agree, but only about three times a year (they have families of their spouses babysitting often). I was just about to lose my job, because both my kids were sick so often (I asked if they could help, but they were too busy). I understand that it’s all my fault and they are not responsible for my life, but it’s just so hard and I don’t know how to get over this and stop being resentful . When is my time for happiness?! How to keep the relationship with them (I don’t have any friends apart from my two siblings and I have a hard time making friends due to anxiety ). Sometimes I am wondering if I should just move far away so this situation is not in my face every day

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 12/04/2023 17:29

Have you told them how you feel? Not just asked for help with the kids, but really told them how hard it is for you.

Janese2 · 12/04/2023 17:35

I did tell them. They understand. We had few arguments and they called me jealous , they apologised after realising and admitting that I do have it hard, but that it was my choice (they both warned me not to have kids with my ex partner..I have no maintenance, no help ever from his family). I made a mistake I am paying for it (but my children are amazing so can’t really say that). We get each other I think. They know I’m jealous and I get that my bad choices shouldn’t affect them (babysitting for me etc ). It’s just terrible situation 😭

OP posts:
Skybluepinky · 12/04/2023 17:36

You are right it’s not their fault you chose the wrong partner.
Have you explained to them just how much you are struggling?

BMW6 · 12/04/2023 17:45

Well of course you are jealous!
Your choices have led you where you are - your siblings choices were different.

However - you have your children and you still have agency in your future.

What ambition do you have for yourself?

80s · 12/04/2023 17:59

I'd love to have your siblings' life, too! Can I join your club of the unreasonably jealous? :)

You've chosen two extremely lucky people to compare yourself with. There are plenty of people in the world you could focus on who don't have those nice things.

Have you had any therapy about your background? It sounds as if you could be stuck in the role of the victim and need a bit of a helping hand getting out?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread