New Business and MH Issues

[Godzillaisjusthangry]

Last year I started a business with a very talented and lovely lady, let's call her Kate. We met through work, quickly clicked in our life goals and had a really good creative and collaborative partnership. We decided that we would like to pursue a business together and had a solid and profitable business plan. Both of us were at the right time in our careers and aspirations to start out on our own.

We.both carried on working FT and worked on our business in the evenings and weekends developing our product. It got to a point where Kate wanted to quit her day job and just focus on the business. I was concerned because we hadn't gone live with our product at that point but she was very confident it would happen very soon so wanted to take the plunge. She had enough in the bank to cover her for a good while. We agreed that once we'd gone live, she would take the first salary so we didn't put too much strain on the business in the beginning.

For background, Kate broke up with her partner 6 months ago and has two sons in secondary school. It's been a very acrimonious split as her partner was a SAHD and refused to work. She's moved out and has the kids 50/50. I know she's been under a lot of pressure as the main breadwinner.

Since Christmas, Kate has started having mental health issues and has been up and down in her mood. She is getting help from the doctor but has now completely withdrawn, to the point where she won't pick up messages or answer the phone. I have reached out to a few mutual friends and they have also had issues getting hold of her. Whenever I do manage to get hold of her via text she just says she's in a bad place. It's been 6 weeks since I've spoken to her.

I know she's not working and is worried about money. As far as I know our business is ready to go live and should bring in an income fairly quickly, so will solve a lot of her financial problems and take off some of the pressure. I'm happy to carry on FT work so she takes the first wage. It has the very real potential to be very lucrative in a short space of time. We have no debts or investors to worry about and on paper is very strong. So in theory, we've done all the hardwork to get ready for market and should be in a really good place. But we've just stalled.

I find myself swinging from being really pissed off with her for leaving me in limbo to feeling really sorry for her and hoping she's okay. I know she's got a lot of problems with her ex and how he's behaving. It's putting a lot of pressure on her and the kids. I've tried to be really supportive and just been a friendly listening ear when she's needed it. She seems to get her confidence back, feel positive and then gets knocked down again and retreats into her shell.

If she said to me that she needed to take a few months off and then we'd start again I'd be fine with that. It's the fact she's just not communicating with me now, even via text message that's making me frustrated. The pattern seems to go that she's in a dark place, gets a bit better, tells me she's good to crack on with it and then just disappears again.

Our mutual friend said she'd reach out to her to let her know I needed to talk to her and just got back a message of she's not in a good place.

I really don't know what to do as I've never been in this situation before. Do I wait it out and hope she gets better? if so for how long? or do I walk away and accept she's not strong enough to do this?

I wonder if she has used the business / you as an opportunity to leave her job as the sole bread winner to frustrate or complicate her divorce proceedings and financial settlement from her SAHH?

She might have no intention of taking a salary or running the business until she is financially separated?

If she is also mentally unwell there is no point pushing for her to get started as she could undo and wreck all the work you have done to date.

You either take over, buy her out, put someone else in to launch or wait it out?

She wasn't married, so no divorce settlement to work out.

Doesn’t sound like she is very well at all or in any place to launch a business.

What legal, financial or contractual arrangements do you have in place to protect your investment?

Don't want to go into specifics as it would be very outing, but I'm not on the hook investment wise. No money gone in, used all our own skills with very minimal outlays. Very, very lucky in that respect.

I'm more concerned about what I do going forward. Do I for example, put everything on hold for 6 months and see if she gets better? she's not going to make a decision so it's down to me to either wait or pull the plug. It's just stressing me out that she can't even communicate with me.

I don't have a lot of experience with mental health issues so not sure whether people can fully recover or what she might be feeling.

A MH crisis / breakdown could potentially take many months or a year to resolve - so think you need your expectations managed on timescales.

Following that whether she has the capacity or motivation to pick up and launch the business only time will tell. Might be just what she needs or it might be impossible or difficult for her.

Looks like you have to either bide your time, take back the business or replicate it with someone else in the meantime?

Honestly, as a small business owner, I would walk away before you're financially committed to this. The pressure is relentless, and if she's already falling apart at the seams, she's in no place to run a business once it gets busy and stressful. I have every sympathy for what she's going through, but she's showing you very clearly that she can't cope when life throws a challenge at her.

I lost my Dad at the end of January, and cared for him for 6 months as well as being at work every day - there was no choice, I just had to sink or swim. I'm so drained and exhausted, but no one else picks up my slack. Something to bear in mind for yourself too, being truthful.

Assuming you have no partnership agreement, shareholders agreement, business articles, directors contracts, or any legal document that sets out mutual responsibilities and terms of working together ... ?

You should treat her as signed off sick. And get on with what needs doing asap if you really know that your business will be profitable.

Then you plough all income into employing someone to push sales or operational aspects she was to lead on so eg if it's cake making, and she makes the cakes, get a substitute cake maker; if she does sales then get a seller.

You drop one day a week of your job and invest more time into the business

You prepare contracts as above asap. You write to her asap as co business owner saying youre doing the above actions and you don't expect her in the buisiness for x months.

If you have nothing legally binding to her, no intellectual property she can reasonably say is hers, and you really believe it's a business idea that will generate enough profit for you to live on etc then your other option is write to her formally and say you've lost trust and confidence in her and you're moving ahead alone - ie "boot her out". Give up your job and go all in.

As someone who built a business without any £ investment I did just that. Poor as church mouse for a year worked arse off and retired at 55 very comfortably indeed. My top tip is - start employing people who do certain things better than you, asap. Financially successful businesses involve taking risks and investment of time if not money. It's not easy or without cost (I didn't see enough of my DC growing up, was my greatest cost) and that's why the rewards are big.

This is a business. What agreements do you have in place for this situation? If there is no investment or capital in the business how was she going to draw a salary during start up? What ever you are doing needs working capital.

Did the business issue her with a contract of employment?

It doesn’t sound like you have any barriers to entry so she could split off and do this herself if the business doesn’t or cannot own the product.

What do you want to do?

• dissolve the business and start on your own, the agreements you have will explain how you do this.
• walk away and leave her to it, but you need to sever financial and business links. Again you will have agreements that cover this.
• Just wait until she gets better to start
• start without her but maintain the business arrangement.

my advice dissolve the business properly. Do it on your own or not at all.