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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Head all over the place

11 replies

upsydaisy22 · 12/04/2023 06:05

Sorry for the essay but my head has been all over the place since yesterday.

Here goes

I have met this man who I have fallen for and I know he has fallen for me too . He has told me a few times but only yesterday I admitted how I really felt.

We have met up a lot but only Saturday night did things go a bit further.
We had both been out for a few drinks together and he was way worse than me.

We went back to my house and started kissing touching ect. It was lovely very passionate.

He wanted to have sex but he is religious so I kept saying no because youl regret it in the morning . This went in for 3 hours so I was dying too my self ha ha but obviously kept saying what I said .

I met up with him yesterday and he looked all flustered so I said if you need to talk to me you know you can .

He said I need to apologise to you for Saturday night. He said you know how I feel about you but the guilt he feels is bad and he hugged and thanked me for stopping him and basically not took advantage of him in his drunk state . Which I easily could of. But I care for him too much to of done that and also have some self worth not to do it because I knew how strongly he believes in sex Before marriage .

He admitted he had done it once before and he said that he suffered bad mental health for years because of it . He said I'm an amazing person and a true friend.

He said he has never felt like this about anyone before but we can't go for a lot of drinks together anymore because of how he gets with me .

I don't know why I feel so gutted but at the same time happy .

I honestly don't know why I have wrote this but I don't discuss my love life with many people because I am pretty shut off with emotional stuff .

After the talk yesterday I text him and told him exactly how I felt about him but said at the end I would never jerpodise our friendship so I'm happy to stay as we are .

I just want to know what do people make of this . Thankyou

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 12/04/2023 06:12

It sounds great if you wanted a new friend or to get married so you can have sex at last

Not so great otherwise

whodafucisalice · 12/04/2023 06:27

He can't go for a lot of drinks because he looses control. You can do what you want. Walk away! He's already trying to control you because he can't control himself.

Ladybug14 · 12/04/2023 06:42

He can't go out for drinks in case he gets drunk and wants sex which he isn't allowing himself to have?

And you've bought into this shit?Hmm

MaireadMcSweeney · 12/04/2023 07:04

Why would you willingly start a relationship with someone with such extreme hang ups about sex? Are you religious?

Pseudonamed · 12/04/2023 07:10

Run. RUN as fast as you can.

Greenfinch7 · 12/04/2023 07:12

Sounds deeply unpleasant

ZekeZeke · 12/04/2023 07:39

He can't control himself?
Run!

NotAnotherTaco · 12/04/2023 07:49

Next step for him will be to suddenly (with lots of hand wringing angst) decide you're worth breaking his rule for. You will be put on a pedestal as the one person he can't resist, you'll feel incredibly empowered... then he'll sleep with you... and who knows if you'll see him again!!

Sorry, the pessimist in me won.

Treacletoots · 12/04/2023 07:54

Why are you putting yourself through this? Dating is hard enough without activily, knowingly going for the one covered in huge red flags.

Having sex is pretty much the only thing that men want to do when dating, and you've managed to pick one that seemingly can't do that. 😂

frozendaisy · 12/04/2023 08:39

Have to live by a lot of rules being this religious.

Rules made by men for men.

It wouldn't stop at this.

You have had a lucky escape OP.

frozendaisy · 12/04/2023 08:42

And say you started dating another, even, shock horror, having sexual relationships before you get married he would be judging you. That isn't a real friend.

It would only work if your level of religious belief was equal. Even as a true friend.

Can you keep up with this?

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