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Original poster

relationships advice.

10 replies

Brunettebarb · 12/04/2023 00:40

What would you do if you thought that your boyfriend may possibly still love his ex - wife? I also feel very confident that he is in love with me, he makes me feel very loved, but I also feel like there is something there. Also at the same time I definitely feel confident that he would never get back with her ever again and the relationship is dead. Would that bother you and would you be able to stay with him ?

OP posts:
Gingergirl70 · 12/04/2023 00:47

Is this the same OP who had just been to her OH's DD's wedding this weekend?

scoobydoo1971 · 12/04/2023 00:48

He has a past, and that was with his ex. He may have lingering feelings, or just a sense of nostalgia about what they had when things were good between them. Perhaps you should focus on how he treats you now, and if he makes an acceptable partner in terms of his present words and actions towards you. Personally, I have dated men who have divorced, and I haven't felt jealous when they talk of their former wives (even fondly). These relationships may have not worked out in the long run, but that was for reasons unrelated to their past. I think as we get older then the chances of finding a partner who doesn't have an ex is less likely. I would be more hesitant about dating a man who talked badly of their ex and blamed them for the marital breakup, than one who talks more positively or in a balanced way about them. Of course, there are exceptions where an ex has behaved very badly, but in general we have to accept that the people we choose are probably going to have a past.

Original poster
Brunettebarb · 12/04/2023 00:48

Gingergirl70 · 12/04/2023 00:47

Is this the same OP who had just been to her OH's DD's wedding this weekend?

No we didn't go to a wedding ?

OP posts:
Sailingaround · 12/04/2023 00:49

It depends. If I’d been with him for a while and it was serious it would bother me,
especially if he was in any sort of contact with her including being on each others social media.

I dated one divorcee and never again - it was clear he was still in love with his ex even though it seems she used him for citizenship purposes.

The divorce rates of second marriage are already particularly high so if I felt someone was in love with their ex I’d feel it was totally doomed. So for me no I didn’t stay and wouldn’t put myself in that situation again. I’m childfree and never been married though so that’s why I date men with similar histories.

Mumma · 12/04/2023 02:28

I think that's quite normal. If you truly love someone, then you always will to an extent. Doesnt mean you are in love with them romantically. I love my parents and siblings but it doesnt make me love DP any less.

Pseudonamed · 12/04/2023 06:53

What makes you think he is still in love with her though? I mean context is everything. My DP is in contact and close enough to his ex because they have kids together. They get on well enough and I know they will never get back together but they get on well for the kids. Does your OH say he still loves his ex or is it something in you that feels second best somehow?

GoodChat · 12/04/2023 07:00

Do they have kids together? Why did their relationship end?

SMARTIN1992 · 27/04/2023 11:34

My husband is still friends with his ex girlfriend and her partner. They dated each other 10 years ago for a few months. We got married last year and my husbands invited them to our wedding. I felt uncomfortable with the situation but went along with it because I didn’t want to upset him or appear difficult. Anyway, 6 months later my husband has been invited to their wedding but I haven’t. My husband is going without me and I feel annoyed. Is that wrong?

Watchkeys · 27/04/2023 15:57

What would you do if you thought that your boyfriend may possibly still love his ex - wife

Leave. I wouldn't live with that feeling, whether I was right or wrong. It doesn't concern people in healthy relationships.

Tizzle23 · 16/11/2023 22:53

Right so me and this man at work have been getting closer and closer since he came onto days this summer to the point of we won't walk past me without poking me or flirting comes find me all the time just for chats lovely guy. Lots of stuff went around work cos we were so close and clearing getting close. To the point if management wouldn't put us on a unit together just incaseThen my best work mate then splits up with her b/f very emotional about it all has a break down at workPhones said guy to get some weed as she knows he knows ppl that deal it they end up meeting in grave yard at night to collect weed apparently and put the world to rights she tells me all of the above the next day via msg and says if I want her to stop she will aa its bas for girl code and do I like him os she has always thought there has been a spark there.I say I can't stop u talking to him cos his a single guy. Well today work his really awful his now flirting with her and so is she there always together basically I think something more went on in grave yard. His talking to me but not flirting at all. Am I right in being slightly annoyed by this? It was quiet there was a spark there but my best work mate has taken all that away?I say I can't stop u talking to him cos his a single guy. Well today work his really awful his now flirting with her and so is she there always together basically I think something more went on in grave yard. His talking to me but not flirting at all. Am I right in being slightly annoyed by this? It was quiet clear was a spark there but my best work mate has taken all that away?

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