Has ADHD affected you socially/ romantically?

[Flyingsparks]

Been recently diagnosed with ADHD. ( I know - another one! Please bear with me!)

It’s made me reflect on my social skills over the years. I come across as outgoing and chatty, but have sometimes struggled making new friends. I’ve definitely improved with age, but I used to study people in social situations as I didn’t know what to do! ( Not ASD though)

I just seemed to struggle with social interactions, and I sometimes sense I make people uncomfortable.

Had anyone with ADHD experienced this? Or am I just a dick regardless of ADHD? 😂

Think it’s also impacted my relationships- I struggle to connect with ‘normal’ guys. Have usually ended up with more eccentric types.

Anyone??

I have ADHD. I can be outgoing and chatty too, in fact I can come across as the life and soul of the party, but then afterwards I need downtime to recover! And sometimes I am quiet and don't really feel like talking so I think it can confuse other people. I also studied other people socially growing up as I was not sure how to behave.

Romantically I used to be attracted to guys who either had issues or who were neurodiverse - I felt more comfortable with them somehow. Nowadays I would be more attracted to a guy who seemed psychologically healthy - neurodiverse or not!

I can have strong feelings and get very attached to people - too much really, I'm still trying to work on this as it's not particularly healthy!

Yes. I'm seen as sociable but in reality have few if any deep friends

Hi OP, first off, I'm very similar - ADHD diagnosis. What makes you so sure that you don't have asd (auDHD)? Apologies if that sounds finger pointy - don't mean to! At least 50% of either condition also has the other.

Personally, I think one day ADHD will be classified as a ASD variant.

Yes, it’s definitely impacted my relationships

I am either super sociable and have to watch I’m not ‘too much’ especially after alcohol, or a complete hermit as it takes me a time to recharge

I have lots of friends but not many know me very well at all. I’ve been working on forming more authentic bonds with people.

Romantic relationship wise I am a bit of a car crash. I have never been faithful in any long term relationship. I fall very hard but I also get bored quickly.

I can’t change who I am but recognising the traits help with the self loathing and help me try and adapt my behaviour so I don’t self sabotage my life as much or feel as lonely

I have a son with mild Adhd and yes, I think it has affected him romantically. The longest relationship he has had was 18 months, and he's 34 now . He's such a lovely lad he's good-looking and goes on lots of dates, but I think the lack of long term has to do with the ADHD myself . Just thought I'd let you know there are others the same.

Thanks for all your responses- I find it reassuring to hear other people with ADHD have had similar experiences.

I’m at the stage where I’m trying to work out why I am the way I am. Obviously, not every quirk will be because of ADHD, but I’ve always found I don’t seem to find relationships easy. It’s so frustrating when I seem to manage well in other areas of my life.

@NoSweat I have considered ASD, but I just don’t tick the boxes. Apart from the feeling a bit different! But think you’re right about it being related to ADHD.

Confirmed adhd here with a recommendation I explore an autism diagnosis as well. I really struggle in social situation and do exactly what you describe- watching people to know what to do. I really struggle with turn taking in conversations.

Relationship wise- I tended to jump in the deep end. I went home with dh after a work night out, only went home a few days later and that was to pack a bag and move in with him. He always jokes that he's not quite sure what happened, but it's been 20 years so thinks it's a bit late to ask questions.

Definitely shagged some questionable (and taken) men when I was younger due to poor impulse control.

@allfurcoatnoknickers same here. I cringe at some of blokes I hooked up with when younger…and the fact I would openly discuss it with friends 😳

I think that ADHD traits sounds so much like barnum statements which pretty much everyone can identify with at one time or another, whether they are diagnosed or not.

So I imagine most people, diagnosed with ADHD and those not, can identify with what you're saying.

I think it's definitely been negative for me. I tend to pick men than are also nd in some way which doesn't necessarily help.

I feel everything WAY too much so sometimes I dissociate to try and cope with my feelings so I come off as emotionally closed too I suspect.

I find myself single again at 36, no kids in most part due to my symptoms becoming too annoying for my last partner.

Would like to move on but I don't know if I would survive another break up.

Perhaps, but you can also say that about long covid symptoms. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Nobody suggested it doesn't exist.

@allfurcoatnoknickers @Flyingsparks same …

I don't know about either of you, but it was a running joke amongst my friends that I had two modes - boring and batshit. I never mastered moderation, so it was either a dating/sex life dryer than the Sahara, or shagging anything that moved.