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Relationships

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Original poster

Moving out before DD starts primary

7 replies

Unsure21 · 11/04/2023 12:34

Hello, my partner and I are separating and I'll be moving out with DD who starts primary school in September. We will live close to each but my question is, when is the best time to move? I'm thinking July but is this too close to when she will start school or should I leave before or after September? What did you do?

OP posts:

mindutopia · 11/04/2023 14:25

I would move before, but really kids are incredibly resilient, so anytime you need to will be fine.

liveforsummer · 11/04/2023 14:27

As soon as you can really now the decision has been made.

herlightmaterials · 11/04/2023 14:28

mindutopia · 11/04/2023 14:25

I would move before, but really kids are incredibly resilient, so anytime you need to will be fine.

Bollocks

TheInterceptor · 11/04/2023 14:30

mindutopia · 11/04/2023 14:25

I would move before, but really kids are incredibly resilient, so anytime you need to will be fine.

They cope with whatever crap is thrown at them at the time. Come back and see how she's getting on as a teen/adult before you make that assertion.

perfectcolourfound · 11/04/2023 16:53

Much better that you're doing it now than when she's older. Children are generally adaptable, and they take their cues from what the adults around them are telling them (verbally and in other ways). So if you and her dad both show you're OK with the new arrangements, you both still love her as much as ever, and you talk about things you're looking forward to together, she will approach it much more positively.

At her age she doesn't yet understand what 'normal' is, so she won't be frightened of a change unless those around her suggest she should be.

Original poster

Unsure21 · 11/04/2023 20:54

@TheInterceptor it's really not an easy decision to make but I've been sitting on this for 2 years and it's just not working. I'm too exhausted to go in to detail and it racks me with guilt how this might affect her into her teens, which in part is why I'm doing this now rather than later to your point @perfectcolourfound.

I'll have my finances in order by July. If I could leave sooner I would.

OP posts:

AlrightJulia · 11/04/2023 21:03

I left in the July and DD started school in September. I knew it was the best decision for me and her. We are now nearing the teenage years. She knows she is loved by her mum, her dad, her stepdad and her dads partner. We have always maintained a close relationship for her sake and she knows that we all work as a team. She can come to anyone of us for anything. She can't play anyone off against each other. If now is the right time for you then do it. With hard work and a mutual respect between all adults you will still parent together and your daughter will know no difference. You and her will be fine x

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