Leave. Leave, leave, please. My ex was damaged by his childhood. So was I damaged by mine. The ex was abusive. I stayed because I thought the children needed their dad.
When my eldest was 15, the ex turned on him. That was it. I was gone. My father had done that to me in my teens. It wasn't happening again.
Go whilst they are young and can recover easier.
Mine were 15, 13, 11, and 4 when I left. We walked the fires of hell with the aftermath and went through the whole system of this country
Fortunately, thanks to my tenacity and indomitable spirit, we came out the other side.
All my youngsters are grown, got good careers, and 2 are happily married with children of their own. They would not dream of being abusive, and my daughter would not allow a man to do it to her either.
Fortunately, I got to break the chains. Staying so long took its toll on my health, though.
I'm sharing this with you to say run and don't look back however hard it is.
You can create a good new life. I happily remarried to an amazing mam who also took my youngsters on and is the dad/Grandpa he didn't have to be to them.
The only regret I have is that I didn't leave before I did. However, I volunteer with others to pass my experiences on, so that is the good that has come out of it.
Contact Womens Aid. They will help you. He has abused you and your sons through this. Addy is below. Good luck.
www.womensaid.org.uk