Need to leave my husband

[anon30]

Hi, I really need some advice and don't know where else to go.
I've been married for 7 years and have two children. Over the last couple of years, the marriage has been very strained and I've thought about leaving for a while but now I know that I need to go. My husband hasn't necessarily done anything wrong. He's a good dad. The relationship has just broken down beyond repair to the point where it's painful to be in the same room. We don't own our house, he works full time and I'm a SAHM. Our eldest is at school and our youngest has special needs. She needs constant one to one care, hence why I don't work. I don't have any savings and I'm completely financially dependent on him so I just feel trapped. It's got the point where I'm considering just running away and leaving him with the kids until I can sort myself out. I don't want to do that but being here is completely destroying me and I can't carry on like this. I don't speak to my family and I don't have anywhere I can go with the kids. What can I do?

Speak to him?

He may feel the same?

Please try and repair your marriage. It's not easy the other side. Trust me.

Please don't abandon your kids. Stay with your husband or leave taking kids with you

She can't leave....she has nowhere to go

I should have said, I have spoken to him. We have already decided to separate. I just don't know how to go about it and he won't entertain a conversation about it.

Is house private rent?

We don't rent. The house came with the job so it's technically a "company" house.

If your child is disabled you should be prioritised for housing by the Local Authority

I just don't know how to go about it

but..why not? There must be specific things that need to be done, right? Like opening up a seperate Bank Account if you don't already have one, like looking for accomodation as it is unlikely that the person, whose job enables you to have the house will end up being the one moving out. So, do you neeed to get you and presumably your kids on a list for housing?

You need to lay out step by step what needs to be done to pull off this divorce. Sometimes, lookikg at everything in the cold light of day can be helpful when making pragmatic decisions. Maybe if you see that you would not be able to support yourself on whatever you might get in Maintainance, you'll be inclined to tough it out a bit longer atleast until you have a job lined up.

Since you and STBXH have both agreed its over, you can be roommates while you save some money. Maybe cook for him, but stuff like laundry etc he should do himself

Speak to citizens advice, and to the local council about housing. That should get you started.

Break it down into steps. You will need a job or benefits. Go to council about housing as renting with benefits is nigh on impossible at the moment. If you do that it becomes more manageable. Also use CMS calculator to work out what money you will get for the kids or discuss if it will be 50 50 etc

Local authority housing is surely harder to obtain than private rental?

Op is not in danger so won't be on top of any LA list just because she wants to seperate....even with disabled kids