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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it control?

3 replies

Lizzybizz123 · 10/04/2023 11:56

I will try to keep this short and hope it makes sense my partner of 4 years who I don’t live with has in the past showed controlling behaviour I’ve been getting tired of the relationship for a while now he seems to make promises and go back on them the latest was I love horses and had them in the past but since divorce and so on can’t afford them, his son had one that he got fed up with that my partner tried to sell it was discovered that she had an issue that made her only worth a fraction of what she should of been and he was going to let her go to someone he didn’t know for a mere £500 I said to him that she could end up anywhere and that would be sad so he said he would bring her back give her to me to put her passport in my name ect and I could enjoy her, she came back and is at his place but I’m told I can ride her but when I say I’ll buy her he just dismissed it says I don’t need to and adds in time you will be here too and so is she, but I’d like to buy her from him so that if we go our separate ways I know she will have a home for life with me, he won’t answer the question…… she’s just left in the field, I said I was going to buy a horse because I wanted one of my own and he said I can keep it at his…… I don’t get it! His son isn’t involved at all just in case anyone thought that he really doesn’t care what happens! I was told he controlled and bullied his ex wife….. is this that behaviour? Last week I went to tell him we weren’t working and he was in tears begging me not to leave I felt really guilty as he suffers with depression and I could see me leaving was going to cause too much pain 🥲🥲

OP posts:
twolilacs · 10/04/2023 12:06

Him suffering from depression is not a reason for you to stay in a relationship if you're not happy. Don't let him manipulate you.

Aside from that, is the horse not being cared for properly?

Lizzybizz123 · 10/04/2023 12:09

Well not as she should be but she’s not suffering in any way

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 10/04/2023 18:59

It doesn't matter if it's control. You're not happy in the relationship, so leave.

It's no more complicated than that. If you're worried about the horse, call the RSPCA, and if not, walk away and let him deal with the situation. He is not your responsibility, and neither is his horse.

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