Was i over sensitive?

[Dandelion97]

I was in a bookshop with my partner and child. They had found books to buy and we were about to queue up to pay, I was still looking at some of the shelves. There werent many people around and my partner asked if i was getting anything. I said that i still had enough books left over from Christmas at which point my partner shushed my by putting a finger to their lips. Apparently they thought i was talking too loud, naturally i didnt think i was.

This really upset me because this isnt the behaviour i expect in public. I wasnt saying anything untoward or inappropriate. It made me feel like child and I shouldnt be treated like that by my partner.

Later when we tried to talk about it they said they didnt me it like that and they would shush anyone they was with and I shouldnt be so sensitive. They also said they didnt mean for me to take it in the wrong way. However to me, its just an example of how they view me.

As the title says, am I being overly sensitive or is this just another example of how they view me?

Well they asked you a question and then shushed you- that’s very odd behaviour ?how long have you been together

How the heck would we know if it’s “just another example”

when you’ve only told us about this one very innocuous incident

Just this incident in isolation of any further context, oversensitive. I can't stand loud people. It's normal and nice of people close to us to let us know when we are being silly, obnoxious or inappropriate like gently telling us when we are talking too much, or have something in our teeth or need to give someone space. I think it's protective and I'd rather someone close corrected me and prevented me from embarrassing myself further when I'm unaware of something.
But if it turns out he is mean and belittling in many other ways then it's a different story.

It’s a bookshop. You don’t have to shush. People converse in book shops.

Sounds like this is part of a bigger issue of him patronizing and correcting you. And you’ve had enough of it. Good for you.

By the way, loud people seldom realise they are loud. Usually their hearing is off so to them they think they sounded at normal volume. It's less embarrassing to be corrected or pulled up on something by someone I know wants the best for me and cares about me rather than some stranger telling me to be quiet or give me dirty looks.

I sometimes inadvertently talk too loudly in public and don’t mind people (friends) pointing it out. Sounds like there’s a bit more to this though, like feeling patronised or belittled by this person in general.

Oh for goodness sake, the responses here! It’s a book shop, not an exam hall. They have cafes, loud coffee grinding machines, children’s areas with young children making noise, people chatting. Shushing your partner is rarely on, certainly not in this environment, and certainly not when responding to a question he has asked.

OP I think your instinct is right. His behaviour was a form of contempt. He has framed you as embarrassing. He thinks he knows better than you in all circumstances.

I personally hate being overheard by others when I'm talking to someone when i'm out, I dont like the attention, I also can't bear people talking so loudly so that everyone can hear, such as in a restaurant or shop, I always feel like they want everyone to look at them! if I'm talking to someone and they're being so loud that they are drawing attention i will probably nicely say to them to talk a bit quieter too. Therefore I'd say you're being a bit oversensitive on this one