I have never posted on mumsnet before but just wanted all your advice about something.
I haven't been in a relationship for a very long time - almost twenty years and when people start probing, asking me why I don't know what to tell them. The reason is that I was in a violent relationship and I don't want to explain to people because doing so would mean re-living the trauma, which I think is with me subconsciously all the time. I have had counselling since the end of the relationship but it hasn't made me less afraid of men. I know that not all men are violent but I am afraid that I might end up again with the one who is because you can't necessarily tell, in the early days of meeting someone, whether they have those tendencies or not.
During the abusive relationship I lived with such daily terror and fear, all the while trying to come up with a strategy for getting out of it intact, which I eventually did. Just writing this brings it all back, but some people really like to probe and ask questions about your past relationships that I wonder what you would tell them if you were me, without telling them anything at all.
I would appreciate it if you would please be kind in your replies.