Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have no friends

14 replies

Chumberlins · 09/04/2023 20:02

I’m 46, have a great husband and three kids but have no friends. We moved up north almost 5 years ago. I work from home, so no work colleagues either. Mums at the school gates do not really talk to each other. My family all live down south. I feel quite lonely and isolated.
I never thought I’d get to this stage. In my teens and 20s I had a handful of friends and never struggled to make new friends. Down south I was friendly with other school mums - I wasn’t close with all of them but it was nice to chat on the school run.
I feel like I’m weird. Never felt like this before moving here.
Anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
SweetIris · 09/04/2023 20:12

Have you tried joining anything like a club of some sort? Any sport you like doing?
Whereabouts in the north?

Gingergirl70 · 09/04/2023 20:18

Hi OP, have a look at the MeetUp app, there will definitely be a number of groups in your area that you might be interested in - anything from walking groups, book clubs, just generally going out socialising, day trips, exercise classes

Original poster
Chumberlins · 09/04/2023 20:57

Thanks for your suggestions - I will try them.
I’m in Leeds by the way

OP posts:
madmumofteens · 09/04/2023 21:49

If you have time volunteer to help local Foodbank I met really genuine people x

HowRatherGolly · 09/04/2023 22:00

Yes. I know I am weird.
After being diagnosed with disability, which affects my speech and walking, people, my family included, find it hard I guess. No one is meant to be different, and anything different is left on the shelf. So my world has grown small. The friends I thought I had have gone quiet and I am spending almost all my time in solitude. I am 52. So I get how you are feeling. Its hard when you move as well. I moved a year ago across the pond. I think with social media people just dont have the need to socialize as much?

Lily0719 · 09/04/2023 22:02

@Chumberlins try the app called Peanut, it’s like online dating but for Mums who want to make friends.

SunflowerTed · 10/04/2023 00:12

leeds Is a friendly place. Volunteer, Jon some fitness classes - you’ll find some lovely ladies in these places

blebbleb · 10/04/2023 00:13

I agree that Peanut or Meetup are both good.

bananafishbones1 · 10/04/2023 00:31

People regularly post on our local fb groups saying they'd like to meet friends and there are always lots of responses suggesting meeting for a coffee etc. People often mention peanut app as well. Don't think you aren't weird, I think lots of people are in a similar position and I'm in the south, as a northerner I'd say people are friendlier in the north!

HeddaGarbled · 10/04/2023 01:01

You don’t have any friends because you’re not doing anything to meet any potential friends. You need to put some time and effort into it. It will probably take some time and experimentation. You need to join things, lots of things, and don’t give up if results aren’t immediate.

FarrowAndBallDrop · 10/04/2023 01:07

I think life can go up and down in this respect and for me I will always choose quality over quantity, which means I have a small circle of friends but I’m happy with that.
Do things for you… what do you like, how would your ideal self look/feel/live? Start to do the things that entails. Investing in yourself is the key to happiness.

For social aspect, think about setting up a book club, crochet, knitting, running, swimming… whatever.. regularly with some other mums or just through a post in your local shop and take it from there. People love when someone takes charge now and then.
Set up a WhatsApp group with all the mums and organise a night out. Also for the regular club/meets above.

You’ll find that lots of others are really just the same as you.

Original poster
Chumberlins · 10/04/2023 10:17

Thank you all for your responses. Some great suggestions. I agree that it is partially my fault as I have not put myself ‘out there’ or made any real effort. I understand I need to be active in my search for friends.

OP posts:
Mary46 · 10/04/2023 11:01

Hi op yes try a group thing or sport or meetups in your area. I agree its hard at our age. I met mams through my kids but all fizzled out. Prob 3 friends now thats it. I didnt enjoy walking group alot stopped coming. Its hard.

roastednuts123 · 10/04/2023 13:34

I'm also near Leeds, similar age to you and sometimes feel as you describe. I have a busy social life sometimes but mainly through my dh friends really. I don't have kids though so sometimes I think that makes me feel lonely! I have friends but not ones I feel I can ring up for a chat or have a heart to heart with. It is a weird feeling particularly when you've always had no problem with friends then you seem to suddenly realise you have a shortage! I can't imagine the school mum situation is v pleasant so I feel for you x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread