Competitive friendship?

[Aesj89]

I have a friend who I have known for around 15 years, we are really close and we work in the same industry. We meet our dps around the same time (which she always brings up).

I am not a competitive person and am
really happy in my relationship and hope she is happy in hers. Meanwhile she continually tries to one up me and my DP e.g. when I mentioned in passing that my DP surprised me with a weekend away for my birthday she told me her dp had bought her concert tickets and booked dinner at a Michelin restaurant for her birthday (turns out this wasn’t true but I would have been pleased for her if it was).

When we recently bought a house together she told me her and her dp were trying for a baby (which was a surprise as they don’t live together and she had told me a month earlier they weren’t ready to
live together). She has expressed shock at us going on holidays separately (with our own friends /families) as she couldn’t bear to be apart from dp and has said she doesn’t understand how we can stay apart.

She has also made some snide remarks which have annoyed me e.g. when we got engaged she asked if my diamond was real as it was “bigger than expected”.

I suspect from some of her comments that she isn’t happy in her relationship (she has previously said her dp is punching above his weight with her and complained he isn’t romantic enough) but I find her determination to one up us and her snide remarks tiring.

Other friends have said I am being too sensitive and that she probably doesn’t mean anything by it. However, I want to distance myself from her.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Am I being too sensitive?

I've been in this situation and it ended horribly! This girl is not your friend. In my experience it came from the tiebreaker persons insecurities, b it it still doesn't warrant mean comments.

I'd phase out the friendship and keep info to yourself OP.

Thanks! I am not sure I can be bothered by the drama it could cause to confront her and because we work in the same industry I will inevitably run into her again at some point.

Thanks! I think you are right that it is probably not personal. When it has been such a long friendship you think you know someone so I have been so shocked at the change.

@theblackradiator that is so weird!! What is the point.

@Ooolaaaala I agree that if I confronted her I would look like a loon! This may be why friends are thinking I am too sensitive. From the outside it looks like some small intentional remarks but because it has happened repeatedly it is really frustrating

@CreationNat1on @Ooolaaaala I totally understand the desire to confront her. It may actually be cathartic but to be honest I don’t think I could handle the drama it could become.

I have a person like this in my life. Older, so at very different points of relationships, children etc. It's exhausting. I softly called it out last year but was completely gaslit about it so have just distanced myself as much as I can when in the same group. Weird thing is they try and still behave to the rest of our friends like our friendship is closer, it's quite possessive. People do notice something is a bit off when they want to join at soft play with their teenagers though 😅

She’s not much of a friend so I would distance yourself from her. She sounds very insecure.