Boyfriend Ex

[Titaniae]

Me and my boyfriend have been together 6 months, I have two children 4 and under and he has three children 4 and under. He's met my kids and they adore him, but his ex won't let me meet his children. We used to talk when I first started seeing him and while we were chatting she was fine with me meeting the youngest two but now she doesn't talk to me she won't let me meet there eldest. He really wants me to meet his eldest so our kids can bond. Our relationship is pretty serious and he practically lives with me. Am I wrong for feeling like she's trying to make our relationship as hard as possible? Does she have a right to not let him choose who his kids meet? She's introduced her new boyfriend of two months to the children. He has equal parental rights but she stops him seeing the kids as often as possible especially if he's been spending a lot of time with mine

She’s trying to protect her children and she is right to do so, you’d be well within your rights to do the same. 6 months is no time at all, just enjoy each other, there’s no need to be ‘bonding’ with each others children yet, that can come later. Focus on your relationship and let them sort out their parenting issues between them.

It's a bit soon to have him virtually living at yours. While you think it's great that he gets on with your DC and they have formed a bond with him, have you thought about how they would deal with that bond being broken if you split up? This is why it's best to take your time. Hopefully it won't come to that, but it sounds like luck rather than knowledge - based. You can't know you'd go the distance a few months in.
With the older DC, it's hard to know, perhaps they have found it that bit harder to deal with. Your DP might know more on that and it would be best if your DP could talk to them around their feelings on meeting you. Has this come from the ex or is the ex expressing his eldest DC's wishes?
You haven't explained why you and his ex used to talk and now you don't? Is there a story to that?

Short answer, no, she has no legal right to stop the father introducing anyone to his children.

The long answer is way more complicated.

Do you believe him when he says she won’t let you meet the children?

Has he gone to court to ensure that he has contact with his children?

She’s a hypocrite.

He’s spineless and needs a proper contact arrangement so he’s not being messed around by her.

You’re massively rushing things. No new bf of 6 months should be moving himself in. Slow down!

She’s his ex, nothing to do with you. You needn’t have had anything to do with her and it probably hasn’t helped things.

Don’t get pregnant. Your lives sound complicated enough.

Mainly, slow down, your kids don’t need to bond, they need you both to take things slowly and calmly before lobbing a massive load of very young kids into a new relationship.

She’s trying to protect her children and she is right to do so

No she’s not. Her kids have met her new bf after 2 months.

Why only the eldest? Is it because she thinks the eldest will be most affected if you were to break up? Either way she's a hypocrite the kids shouldn't be meeting any new partners imo, there is no telling what could happen it's early days in both relationships.

Yes she is. Making one bad choice doesn’t mean she shouldn’t try and protect them anywhere else does it. You are effectively saying OP should be allowed to meet and bond with these kids cos others have.

It's not her decision. It's his

Yes to the long answer being more complicated and 6,months being nothing ans qhat is he doing living with you so quickly when you both have kids so thibk about .....etc etc.

If you've already met the youngest 2 there's no reason you can't meet the eldest.

If he's practically living at yours, what does he do when he has the children? How often does he see them?

If he's practically living at yours, what does he do when he has the children?

This. Where does he see them?

I’m saying she’s a hypocrite and has no right to expect better of her ex than she’s prepared to do herself.

If you've already met the youngest 2 there's no reason you can't meet the eldest.

Well surely she must have a reason* *😅What reason did she give OP?

He really wants me to meet his eldest so our kids can bond.

At 6 months in the kids don't need to bond. If you split up then that is even more people for the children to lose. A huge amount of relationships don't make it to the year mark so there should be no rush.

Jesus Christ. What is it with women who introduce virtual strangers to their children? You're all bloody stupid.