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Original poster

Any advice

9 replies

Tequilasunrise100 · 08/04/2023 17:53

Hi guys

I’m new to this app and just needed some advice/clarity on a situation I’m going through so here goes…

i’m a single mum of 2 kids (3,7) - recently left long term partner of 10 years (last September) as he was unfaithful and generally treating me like crap. Fast forward to Jan and I’ve reunited with an old ‘friend’ we were super close when we were younger and have recently become infatuated with each other. He treats me so well and as we have such a solid friendship everything seems so easy. Fast forward to now and I’m pretty sure that I’m pregnant. We were being so careful (tracking ovulation, on pill etc) but now im
freaking out. We’ve only been dating for 4ish months and this seems so soon - we agreed to wait at least a year until he met my kids as we were enjoying being in our little bubble and wanted to make sure this was going to last before him meeting them. Now I’m in a state of shock - when do I tell the kids? I’m worried my ex and his family are going to be nasty, not to mention my own family who have no idea I’m seeing anyone… this pregnancy is going to come as a shocker. I haven’t even told the guy I’m dating… any advice? Obviously I’m going to tell him but I’ve literally just found out and panicking. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice would be so appreciated.

thankyou!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 08/04/2023 17:57

Are you pregnant or just pretty sure you might be?

The pill stops you ovulating so no point cycle tracking. Was he using condoms?

If you are pregnant you should probably tell him but take it one step at a time and make sure first.

Original poster
Tequilasunrise100 · 08/04/2023 18:02

Well I’ve taken 2 tests day (albeit a week before AF) and have 2 faint positives. Ive been feeling off for a few days which promoted me to take the test. Will take another in a week or so but just hyperventilating thinking about everything else. And no, because I’m on the pill we didn’t think to use condoms

OP posts:
samestyle · 08/04/2023 18:03

Wait until you have a strong positive test, in that time figure out if you want to keep it.

ZekeZeke · 09/04/2023 05:09

Advice? Confirm if you are indeed pregnant and have a termination.
You are together just over 3 months, it's way too soon to add a pregnancy. Your relationship ended in September, 3 months later you are with a new man and 3 months after that you are pregnant. It's all too fast.
Think about the children you have, it would be crazy to add a new man and child into their lives so soon after their dad has gone.

Oh, and use condoms from now on.

Endofdaysarehere · 09/04/2023 05:42

It’s a no from me too.
It’s too much for the children you already have - parents splitting up, a new boyfriend for you, and then a sibling.

Keep with your original plan, it was sound. In September introduce everyone, if it goes well take the relationship forward then.

also, work out why the pill hasn’t worked. Get a better contraceptive.

JamNittyGritty · 09/04/2023 05:54

Agree with the previous posters. Way too much for your children to have to deal with, they need to be the priority here.

Zanatdy · 09/04/2023 06:25

It’s hard as a termination is never easy and it’s ok for everyone here to say just get a termination. When it’s you going through it, it’s not as straight forward. But you do need to consider the children you already have and how confusing this will be for them. At the time that you thought you would be introducing them, you’ll be introducing a new baby. You could already be living with guy by then, or he could be long gone and then you’re going to have children by different men to cope with access / maintenance etc. I personally would have a termination as it’s just way too soon and whilst it might be wonderful now, it could change, especially adding in complications and pressures like a baby. I’d also change contraception if you were taking it properly (and condoms with a new relationship).

Original poster
Tequilasunrise100 · 09/04/2023 18:56

Thanks for all the advice. I agree mostly that having a termination may be the only way I can protect my kids from any upset, I don’t see how it’s possible any other way.

OP posts:
LiliLil · 09/04/2023 19:23

I’m sorry you’re panicking OP.

It is of course your decision but I agree that in your situation I would terminate. It would be too much for my two children to deal with so soon after the marriage break up x

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